


Closing Time

by sassenachwaffles



Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Modern AU, wee bit o' angst, wee bit o' feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 32,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassenachwaffles/pseuds/sassenachwaffles
Summary: Claire Beauchamp is a second year medical student. Due to many late nights with her clinicals, and studying for her pharmacology class, she’s at wits end. One Friday night she decides not to join Joe Abernathy and her other friends out at Church, their local hangout spot, but instead winds up in a dive bar close to her flat with a very nice whisky selection. In fact, one of the best one she’s ever seen. When the bartender calls her ‘Sassenach’ and pours her a double, Claire gets a feeling in her chest she’s never felt before.





	1. Closing Time

**Author's Note:**

> Pandora threw on Semi Sonic's 'Closing Time' when I was on the treadmill yesterday. Obviously this AU popped into my head while I was knee deep in a 5k and not able to get to my computer, but eventually I did! So, that's how this happened. Also kudos to any of you readers who get the wee Grey's Anatomy quote in there. Kudos to you if you find it!

My eyes felt tired, I looked down at my pharmacology textbook and the stack of flash cards I was making. Preferred anesthetic, pre mature atrial contraction (PAC), premature ventricular contraction (PVC), proarrhythmia, prodrug, pro hormone. I closed my eyes, rubbing the sides of my temples. I could see the terms engrained on the back of my eyelids. I opened my eyes, yawning, glancing down at my watch. 1:10AM. Another late night in the medical school library, this class and my clinical rotations were actually going to be the death of me.

“Give yourself a break Beauchamp.” I said to myself. After having enough study time on a Friday night, I closed my text book shut and slipped my laptop and flash cards into my tote-bag. I checked my phone as I stood up and started to slide my jacket on.

I smiled as a text from Joe Abernathy, my lab partner from my biochemistry class when we were first year med students, appeared on the screen.

_‘LJ we’re down at Church playing darts and pool. Stop by for a drink or two after you’ve studied your brains out, it’s a Friday — you deserve it!’_

I picked up my tote, sliding the chair back under the desk, and texted him a quick reply.

_‘Just finished the terms for pharmacology through P…Still have a lot more to do. I don’t think I will join you all tonight. Brain is fried, don’t feel like being social. Rain check.’_

I was tired, over worked, and felt like my brain had been fried. I didn’t think I could muster energy to join the rest of the second years— all I wanted was a stiff glass of something strong and to crawl into my bed and sleep for the rest of the weekend.

_‘Will hold you to that, Lady Jane. Text me when you get home safe.’_

_‘Will do’_ I replied as I started to make the somewhat short walk back to my flat. I did want a night cap for the night, but sighed as I turned on to 11th Street realizing the packaging store was closed. 

“Obviously it’s closed you’ve been studying for the last 7 hours.” I muttered to myself under my breath. I was cold, it was February in Scotland and I was not wearing my heavy jacket. I made a mental note to always keep a scarf and gloves on me. I clutched my coat closer to my body as I made my way down a few more blocks.

I was creeping closer to my apartment and practically raised the white flag on getting my nightcap as I fumbled in my tote bag for my keys. Then I remembered there was that little dive bar on the block behind my building. “Ah, good thought.” I muttered to myself as I turned onto my street, and walked around the block to the bar.

I saw the little neon ‘open’ sign and smiled, looks like I could still get a little buzz before calling it a night. I opened the door to the bar and took in its surroundings. A total dive bar it was, but there was an ambiance that made it almost homey, something that made it very welcoming.

There were dark oak floors and exposed brick on the wall. The place was small, less than 1000 square feet. The lights were old whisky bottles, giving a brown hue to the room. There was a beautiful bar with dark oak that matched the floor and a few tables scattered through out. Being so late, I was surprised to find three of the tables taken by a few people, but respectively found the bar to be empty. This was just the place for my nightcap, I thought to myself, no one would bother me here.

I took a seat at the far end of the bar. I hadn’t seen the bartender yet so I reached across to the little bowl of Chex-Mix. After nibbling on a few pieces, I looked up at the spirits lined on the wall. There was brandy, cognac, tequila, and vodka, and as I looked further down was very impressed with the whisky collection. I got up from my seat walking half way down the bar to admire the selection of whisky a bit more: Monkey Shoulder Blended Malt Scotch, Bushmills Black Bush Whisky, Compass Box Hedonism Quindecimus Whisky, a Glen Alba 22 year old, a Laphroaig Quarter Cask, Benromach 10 year old, Tomatin 12 year old, I continued down admiring the bottles, noted some of my personal favorites, when I was interrupted by a voice behind me.

“Like what ye see there, lass?” A soft Scottish voice asked behind me. Catching me a bit off guard, I startled a bit and turned around.

A tall, redheaded, through and through Scot looked at me with these deep blue eyes. He was so beautiful, it was almost like looking at the statue of David itself.

“I, uh…. I’m sorry. You startled me. What did you ask?” I said, being completely honest. I blushed a little, this man was staring at me up and down, and straight at me— I could barely make direct eye contact with him without feeling uneasy.

“Aye, it’s fine. I just asked if ye like what ye see.” The man said as he pointed to the array of whisky.

Feeling his graze move off me to the whiskies lined on the wall, I was able to think in a more coherent pattern.

“Yes, I was just admiring the whisky selection. Some great choices here and actually a few of my favorites.” I said as I turned and started to walk back to my seat. I really could not be bothered by some guy in a bar, tonight of all nights — all I had wanted was to be alone.

But, I heard the quiet steps of the large redheaded Scot, as he seemingly followed me to my seat. About to say something, ask what he wanted, and tell him rightfully if he wanted my number he was surely not going to get it— I stopped as I watched the Scot walked behind the bar.

“Weel, what can I get ye to drink then, Sassenach?” The redhead asked me.

“I’m sorry, what did you just call me?” I asked the question evident on my face.

“Och, Sassenach. Tis what ye are, an English lady, not from Scotland. I ken tell from your accent.” He said, smiling as he placed his hands on the bar making direct eye contact with me again

“Do you come up with pet names for every customer in this place?” I asked, feeling the temperature in my cheeks start to flare. (God, I must look like a fire truck right now.)

The man did not miss a beat. “No.” He said, simply as a matter of fact. “But ye… Weel yer something different.”

“Well, tonight I’m just a girl in a bar. Who really wants a glass of something stiff.” I said, looking down at my hands.

“Weel, tonight I’m just a bartender, ye ken. Who can help get this Sassenach a glass of something strong.” The man said as he turned to pick up a glass. “Which one would ye like?”

“I think tonight I will go with Glen Alba. Neat please. And make it a double.” I said, putting my hands on my temples and rubbing them, good god I was exhausted.

But I found myself sitting in the bar in an irrevocably good mood, there was just something about this bartender—this man— this Scot. The way he carried himself, his cheekbones, those blue eyes…. I watched him as he quietly turned on his heel, walking the few feet down to where the whisky was. He opened the bottle, poured me a double and then I saw him pour a second glass.

Gingerly he picked up the two glasses and walked back over to where I was seated. He passed me my glass and then picked up the other one.

Again he looked at me directly in the eyes — it felt as if he was looking right into the depths of my soul— and it made my stomach go uneasy.

“Weel, Sassenach. There’s yer double. Ye look like ye need it. Slainte.” He said as he tipped his glass towards mine.

“Slainte.” I replied as I clinked my glass with his.

“Ye may be a Sassenach, but ye do ken how to cheers and drink a proper Scottish whisky, so maybe there is hope for ye yet.” The gentleman said as he took a small sip of his glass.

“I like my drinks aged and strong. Medical school is driving me up a wall and all these hours doing clinicals and following doctors around, and biochemistry and pharmacology. Did you know I’ve spent the lat 3 Fridays in a row at the library? That’s where I was before here….. The library till one AM. Good god.” I said and then took a sip of the whisky. I smiled as I swallowed it and let the slow burn warm me up. “But you didn’t need to know any of that… I just rambled for no good reason.” I said shyly. Who was this man I was talking to and why was I rambling like a love struck teenager?

“Yer a doctor, then?” The bartender asked coming round the corner sitting down next to me.

“Not exactly. I will be, one day.” I answered taking another sip.

“One day.” The bartender said as he took one sip and finished his whisky. I saw him fumble with his phone in his pocket and then set it on the bar. “Och. It’s nearly 2 AM.” He said. I watched him as he stood up and turned to the three tables of people behind us.

“Rupert, Angus, Murtagh and Dougal….Last call ye wee bastards.”

I turned my head slightly and watched as the men all shook their heads and took the last sips of their drinks. I turned back to my drink, throwing down the last sip, and went to pull out my wallet from my bag.

I was stopped as I felt the large hand of the Scot touch my shoulder softly.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. This one’s on the house tonight.” The Scot said as he smiled at me.

“Thank you.” I said. And then suddenly, my coat was in his hands and he was helping into it. I nodded, grabbing my bag from the hook and started to walk out. He followed closely behind me and went and turned the neon ‘open’ sign off. The Scot politely opened the door for me.

“Next time ye come here, dinna come so close to closing time. I would love to hear some more of yer story.” He said as I stepped right outside the door. I wistfully looked back over my shoulder and smiled.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” I replied as I saw him smile and shut the door locking it behind him.

Feeling warmed in my core — whether it be from the whisky or from that man, I wasn’t sure. I did however know, I would be back again soon, and found myself very eager to learn more about this Scottish bartender. 

I walked back to my apartment and shot Joe a text. 

‘Just got home, safe. Door is locked. Will call later.’

I walked to my bedroom and stripped myself out of my jeans and alma mater sweatshirt as I slid into my pajamas and then hunkered myself into bed. I turned off the light and found myself smiling as I slid off into oblivion.


	2. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire feeling brave thanks to some *liquid* luck, ends up at the dive bar, wanting to find out more about this Scottish bartender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I was astonished by the response to the first chapter - I was actually rather floored. So, without having to wait too much longer, here is chapter 2! I hope you all enjoy slight drunk Claire and her braveness. Also, I suggest listening to this chapter accompanied by the song, Closing Time by Semi Sonic.

I woke up Saturday wrapped in my favorite silk pajamas and feeling like a whole new woman. I glanced to my nightstand and checked my phone. 4:05 PM.

“Well done, Beauchamp. Sleeping through the whole day, so productive!” I muttered to myself as my blurry, sleepy, vision came into clear focus. I looked down at my phone.

Three missed calls from Joe, one from Frank and three texts from Joe. 

I laughed as I read Joe’s texts.

_‘Lady Jane, want to go for a run in the park?’ at 7:05 AM._

_‘OK, fine no run — want to meet for lunch and go over the rest of the terms?’ at 11:05 AM._

_‘I know you’re not dead but you must be exhausted. Call me when you enter the land of the living.’ at 3:49 PM._

I slid my phone open and shot him a quick text.

_‘Only you would go for a run after hanging out with friends till two am. Just woke up and am going to enjoy the rest of the day lounging in my flat, doing laundry and cleaning, maybe some studying. But if you came over with Thai for dinner around 8, I might or might not have some beer in the fridge we can use.’_

I ignored the phone call from Frank, the ex-boyfriend that he was, the unsupportive ex of me going to medical school- could wait. 

I got out of bed and slid my slippers on. Walking over to the mirror, I half laughed at the appearance of myself, but settled on throwing my hair up into some messy bun and gave up on making myself any more put together.

I felt my phone buzz in my hands and saw that Joe had replied to my text.

_‘Natural Claire move - studying on a Saturday. Gail has a girls night with some friends so it works out. Be there at 8 with Thai.’_

I turned on the record player and started humming to my favorite Mumford & Son’s album. I spent the next three hours running around my apartment— I put away the load in the dishwasher from Tuesday, I did three loads of laundry of just my scrubs, and one load of whites, I vacuumed my entire living room and placed the throw pillows back on the couch, I even washed my bathroom from head to toe.

__________

As I was finishing in my bedroom putting away the laundry I had done, I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearing 7. Wanting to take a quick shower before Joe came over, I put the rest of the clothes neatly back into the basket and headed to get myself more human before Joe headed over.

My shower was everything I had hoped it would be and I felt ready to take on a few hours of studying more of those damn pharmacology terms. I half brushed half tousled my wet curls when I heard the nock on the front door.

“LJ I’m here. Food is going to get cold!” Joe said.

“It is open!” I called as I ran to the kitchen to get the plates and silverware out. Joe opened the door and dropped his books on my coffee table.

“Well at least your place is clean and you’ve taken a shower.” Joe said as he appeared in the doorway into the kitchen. “We missed you last night.”

I threw my still wet hair up into another bun. “I know, I know. Mary and Neal are going to give me a hard time about it. But, there are so many terms…. I had to get a head start. Swapping from the day shift after being on nights for the last semester has been hard. Plus, with everything that happened with Frank over the holidays, I’ve just… Needed some re-grouping.”

Joe laughed as walked to the fridge and opened it, searching for the beer. “I know, Lady Jane. I know you and I know that when you want to be alone, you need your time. But I always invite you just by the off chance you change your mind.” And then he joined me in the living room. 

“I know and thank you for always thanking of me.” I said as I sat on the floor in front of the food and opened my textbook and then made my way to start opening the take out containers. Joe sat himself across from me and started to make himself a plate. “I did get a night cap last night and the bartender, phew, he was like staring at the statue of David. But let’s get going on these words and the beer.”

__________

We spent the next three hours going over the terms, a-z and also reviewing our notes from our clinical neuroscience class. I let my hair out of the bun and took the last sip of my beer.

“I think my head is going to explode. Why can’t we just fast forward to the point where we have MD next to our names.” I said as I closed my laptop and stood up. Joe closed his laptop and stacked our flashcards neatly into piles. I took the take-out containers and walked into the kitchen throwing them away. Joe followed behind me, taking the six empty beer bottles and throwing them away.

“I can’t wait for med school to be over too. But now that we’re finished studying, tell me about this bartender. You have barely wiped the smile off your face all night. So, tell me about this man?” Joe asked as he leaned against my counter.

I let out a small croak, and turned towards the sink trying to hide my now bright red cheeks. “There is nothing to tell, Joe. I wanted a glass of wine but the packaging store was closed, so I went to a little dive bar.” I turned on the faucet and started to wash the plates. “The bartender was this big, tall, Scot, and there was a very nice whisky selection. That is all that happened.” I said as I finished with our two plates, placing them on the drying rack and turning around to face him.

“Mhmm.” Joe smirked as he checked down at his phone. “Ah, the wife is home and I am not. We are going to have to finish this conversation later. I better get going so Gail and I can at least spend some time together this weekend before our hell week begins.”

“Alright, Joe.” I said as I followed him to my front door. “And there is nothing else to tell. I will see you on Monday!”

Joe kissed my cheek and left. I locked the door behind him. I turned off all the lights and crawled back into my bed wishing Friday would get here sooner rather than later.

__________

The next week did end up going by in a blur. The two days I spent in lectures were a bit on the longer side but still, Friday rolled around and I found myself again studying in the library.

I had my pharmacology test on terms this upcoming Tuesday, but after spending the past two days studying them during every free second I had, I decided on just spending some time reviewing the clinical neuroscience notes.

I was running on a high today. I had spent most of my day in the operating room, watching a neurosurgeon repair a gentleman’s spine ending up with almost 70 screws in his back. I had even been allowed to have the honor of putting a screw in.

I ran through the section in the notes about understanding the shared mechanisms of neurodegeneration and was just about to get to the last section of advancing anesthesia when I felt my phone buzz next to my computer.

_‘Lady Jane — know you’re studying, but it’s 10:30 on a Friday, want to come out? Gail is coming said she’d love for you to join!’_

I laughed and shut my computer. Running on the high of being in a surgery today, I was feeling brave, maybe even a bit wild or erratic if I got liquored up enough.

“You can get away with just two hours of studying, Beauchamp!” I muttered to myself as I texted Joe back. 

_‘Meet you at Church in twenty, tell Gail to order a Old Dubh for me!’_

__________

I got to Church a bit quicker than I expected and Gail had my beer waiting for me. The Abernathy’s were my really good friends- in fact, they were more like family to me. Joe and I became friends during our first year in med school and I spent many hours at their flat during the first year while Joe and I tried to make our way through biochemistry. It was by her grace either one of us had not given up on med school. Gail was a teacher and with the hectic med school schedule we rarely saw each other anymore, and being able to spend some time with her tonight was a special treat.

The rest of the second year students were nice enough too, although I was the top female student in the class, and it was something that got on Mary’s nerves (the only other female in our class), and I had a tendency keep to myself most of the time. But I had to admit - a night out like tonight, after one too many beers and a few games of pool, I was *most* definitely feeling brave and having a little bit of fun. It felt good to let some of the pressures of med school fall away for a night.

I heard Mary say my name from the hightop we were sitting at and it brought my focus back to the present.

“Yeah, and Claire got to screw in some hardware today.” Mary said as she took a shot of tequila. I watched her face cower with regret a short moment after. 

“I did, and it was the best thing all week!” I replied as I watched Mary order two more shots of tequila and then slid one down to me. 

“Come on, Claire. On me for the screw.” Mary said as she raised her shot glass to cheers with me. 

Joe laughed as he came up behind Gail and put his arms around her shoulder. “Good luck getting Claire to take a shot of clear liquor. She’s much more a whisky lass.” I watched as he kissed Gail’s cheek and she took her hands into his.

I had a pang of jealousy for a minute- boy did I miss being like that with another person- but as my thoughts started to head to Frank, I stopped myself and looked at Joe, rolling my eyes, taking the shot of tequila and then took Mary’s shot from her hand, taking another shot.

“Oh my god.” Joe said. “She did not one, but two!” 

I nodded my head, waving my fingers in a salute to Joe. “Of course I did, I never say no to a challenge.”

Mary and Neal laughed in the background as they ordered another round of beer and shots.

Whether it was the 5 beers I had consumed or maybe it was the tequila, I glanced down at my phone. 12:54 AM. Still running on the euphoria from the surgery that was now only enhanced by alcohol - I was going to be brave and make my way back to that bartender who I had been thinking about, *all week long.*

“I think I am going to call it a night.” I said as I put my jacket on. I hugged Gail goodbye and said my farewells to my classmates. I turned to say goodbye to Joe but was stopped as he nodded towards the door.

“I’ll make sure you get in your uber just fine, Lady Jane.” Joe said as he followed me to the door.

“Thanks Joe, but I think I am going to walk home. It’s still early enough and I’ve had a wee bit too much to drink. I think the fresh air will do me some good.” I said as I looked down at my phone pulling up the maps. Joe smirked as he watched me type in Mackenzie’s Bar on my phone.

“Looks to me like you’re going to see that bartender again, huh?” Joe asked me questioningly, as he crossed his arms. 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” I said as I blushed. Joe rolled his eyes at me causing me to laugh. “I know I can’t hide anything from you… Yes, I’m going to see him. He was just, so….. hot and all secretive and I’m feeling very brave at the moment. Why not just take advantage as I am rarely in this state.” I said as I locked my phone, putting int in my pocket. 

Joe laughed and nodded, kissing my cheek. “Be safe tonight, LJ. Text me tomorrow and let me know how it goes.” He said as he disappeared back into abyss of people at the bar.

__________

I rounded the corner and saw the neon light that was still flashing, _‘Open’_ it said. I looked down at my phone, 1:23 AM. I still had a little bit of time before it was closing time.

I slowly walked through the door and threw my curls up into a bun. I took a seat at the bar, and smiled as the Scot came in from the back, his hands full of a box.

“Oh look, it’s the ‘I’m just a girl in a bar’, Sassenach.” The Scot said as he placed the box down at the the far end of the bar. 

My cheeks flashed bright red and I took a breath- I was definitely feeling brave, and made a mental note to stay away from tequila next week.

“Well look it’s the ‘I’m just a bartender’ bartender.” I replied, giving my best Scottish accent and blushing as it was evident by the bartender’s laugh that I had failed, miserably.

I watched the bartender laugh again softly to himself and grab two glasses from behind him. He walked to the whisky and poured two glasses. He slowly crept down the bar to me, handing me one of the glasses he poured.

“Weel, Sassenach, this ‘I’m just a bartender’ has a name.” The Scot said as he took a sip of his whisky, never taking his eyes off me.

“And what might that name be, then?” I asked, the question evident on my face, and took a small sip of my own whisky.

“James….. James Fraser.” The Scot said and he set his glass down. 

I took another sip of my whisky- adding more fuel to the fire that was igniting this odd braveness in me, and smiled back at the Scot.

“Well this Sassenach has a name, and it’s Claire. Claire Beauchamp.” I said as I stuck my hand out, the fire most evident on my cheeks.

Oh boy, I thought to myself as I took my eyes off his, and felt his large warm hand take mine and draw it to his face. I could feel his eyes on me as he softly pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

I was *most* definitely in for some trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate every kudos and every comment. I hope you all enjoyed tipsy!Claire too. Chapter 3 will be here sooner than you think.


	3. The Prick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has to deal with her ex-boyfriend Frank while Jamie is not far off, watching from inside the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am going to Scotland on a trip this week. I am not sure what my week is going to look like, so I have decided to post this chapter before I leave. It is also on the longer side, to try and hold you off for a week till I can post the next installment! I hope you all enjoy this one- a wee bit o' angst in it!

The minute the bartender released my hand he smiled softly at me and took another sip of his whisky. “Most of my friends call me Jamie, ye ken too, if ye’d like.”

I don’t think my cheeks had ever been a brighter shade of red. I nodded slowly as I took a sip of the whisky. I must have made a gesture or given some weird face because, *bartender* Jamie, I reminded myself, (he had a name!) cocked his head to the side and gave me a look of question.

“Isna a bad whisky, is it?” Jamie asked as he hopped onto the bar and slid over the counter, taking a seat next to me.

“NO.” I said rather quickly and loudly- loud enough the bartender *JAMIE* I corrected myself *again*, made a face that I couldn’t decipher as he looked at me, the question evident on his face, yet again. I took a deep breath and counted to five, trying to regroup myself. “No. It is not a bad whisky. I just have unfortunately had some tequila before coming here and… Let’s just say tequila and whisky don’t really go hand in hand.”

Jamie laughed as he took a small sip of his whisky and twirled it around in the glass. We sat in silence for a few minutes taking small sips of our drinks. Finally, after he took the last sip from his glass, he spoke.

“So, Sassenach, how was yer Friday?”

“I just told you my actual name, and yet somehow I am still a Sassenach.” I laughed. Jamie smiled and shook his head at me.

“Aye ye did tell me. Yer name is Claire, but yer my Sassenach.”

“I am your Sassenach…. That is slightly possessive of you, and you barely know me” I mused. However brave I was before was no match for the bravery I was feeling- I was even more courageous now- between tequila and whisky, I should have been playing the lottery tonight. I smiled from ear to ear and turned to look at him. My smile must have done something to him- he leaned his elbow on the bar and turned to face me, resting his head on his hand. A look of pure amusement- dare I say he was even smitten- ran across his face.

Naturally, I blushed again and looked down at the glass in my hands.

“But back to my day… It was marvelous. I got to watch a surgery today. This guy had some massive issues with the vertebrae in his back. Long story short and keeping it simple, the doctor took out the bad vertebrae and replaced it, but replacing it requires hardware which means drills and screws. God, it was awesome to watch but then the attending let me screw in one set. It was…. Euphoric.” I said as I took the last swig of my whisky. “I don’t really have a desire to go into neurosurgery or orthopedics but still, holding that drill and being in an OR all day, totally reminded me why I chose to go to medical school. Then I went to a pub with some of my classmates and called it an early night, and now I’m here. With you.” Smooth, Beauchamp. Might as well just take him home tonight. I thought to myself as I silently held my breath.

“Ah. I see.” Jamie mused. He hopped up on the bar again and went behind the counter. As swift as a cat he had gone and grabbed a bottle of whisky and was seated next to me again. “Sounds like ye had a rather good day then.” He said as he poured me another glass.

“Yes. It was a great day. How about yours?” I asked, obviously he was in a chatty mood and being the only customer in the bar, I wanted to milk the alone time I had with him.

“Wasna so bad. I spent my morning taking care of some business. I watched my nephew for a few hours this afternoon and then opened the place at five and have been bartending since.” Jamie said as he poured himself another glass.

“You have a nephew? So let me guess— you have a brother.” I said, swirling my cup around. I saw Jamie drop his shoulders and turn his face away from me.

“Aye. Weel, I did have a brother. He passed when he was 10 and I was 8. I do have an older sister, Jenny, and my nephew is my namesake. God help the poor lad.” Jamie said as he brought his focus back on me. “What about yer family, Sassenach?”

It was my turn to look away for a moment, but there was an honesty about this man- a truth- and I felt it odd, I was wanting to share my whole life’s story with him and I had only known him for a total of 30 minutes.

I took a deep breath and a sip of whisky. “My parents passed away when I was a little girl. I was raised by my Uncle Lambert, who was an archeologist. He passed away when I was a freshman in college though and my grandparents were long gone before I was born. So it’s just been me, for some time now.” I said, forcing a smile on my face.

I had my arms crossed on the bar and felt his big, calloused hand as he placed it on top of mine. “I ken the feeling, I lost my mam and my da at a verra young age too. Doesna get easier at all.”

I placed my other hand on top of his and squeezed it tightly. “It doesn’t.”

I felt Jamie’s large behemoth presence as he scooted his bar stool closer to mine. I kept my hand on his and he made no effort to take his hand off mine. It felt- right, like it should always belong there, oddly enough. The easiness that came between us unsettled me in my core. 

Still, our hands stayed like that, until my phone buzzed on the counter. I let it keep ringing, not taking my eyes off Jamie’s but he finally pulled his hand from mine and picked up my phone.

“Are ye going to answer that, Sassenach?” He asked. Good god, I loved the way the word *sassenach* rolled off his tongue. Like a finely aged Scottish whisky. I brought my focus back down to planet Earth and read the caller ID. Frank.

My stomach dropped and I lowered my head, putting my hands over my face.. Damn, did Frank sure know how to ruin a good moment.

“No.” I replied, honestly. “But I should.”

Jamie made a small Scottish sound- almost one of disgust I might have guessed- and set the phone down just below my face.

“I think ye should.” Jamie said, as he placed his large, warm, inviting hand on the small of my back. “I’ll sit here wi’ ye. Give ye some encouragement.”

I nodded as I slid the button open and carefully placed the phone to my ear.

_“Hello, Frank.” I said, very short._

_“Claire.” He breathed. “We need to talk.”_

_“We talked, Frank. Three different times over the holidays.”_

_“I know. But I miss you and I want to see you.”_

_“Frank.”_

_“I want to work on us. I was not the most supportive person I could hav-“_

_Feeling the full effects of the liquid bravery I had been consuming all night, and having an odd sense of extra courage and support from this strange man next to me, I was going to let him have it._

_“I told you, I was done. We tried. For four years, Frank. We tried. And you’re the one who left, and you are the one who diminished everything I had worked so hard for…. After I supported you for years.”_

_“Claire, I know, I said I was sorry.”_

_“I believe that you are sorry, I truly do. But I also know a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t miss you and I don’t miss us. It is just better this way.”_

_“Claire… I, we need to talk, in person.”_

_“I’ve said everything I needed too.”_

_“I’m at the bar, Joe told me where I could find you.”_

I immediately hung up the phone and looked out the window to see Frank, standing outside the front door. I felt like a helpless puppy.

_Frank and I had met my in my final year of high school and he was a junior at the local university. We started dating and it worked well. He was studying history at the university in Edinburgh with plans to pursue his Master’s at the same institution once he graduated with his Bachelor’s. I applied to the university to be close to him, thinking I had found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When my final year of university had come around I had made the decision to apply to medical school. I hadn’t hid it from Frank-- I had told him on multiple occasions, but between his Master’s and his externship at the museum, he hadn’t been all too interested or even taken notice of my career goals. When my acceptance letter came in the mail things shifted between us. The next year, things were distant between us. I had come home one night late from the library and found him fondling around with another girl-Sandy from the museum-on my couch._

_That had been the final straw to everything that had happened and I ended it right before finals, just a mere two months ago. The holidays had been very lonely, after spending 5 years with Frank and his parents, I had nowhere to go. Except God Bless Joe and Gail Abernathy. I had taken a semi-permanent residence in their guest bedroom. They treated me like family, and I was ever in their debt for surviving what had been the worst month of my life._

Jamie’s hand was still on my back and turned to look at the door, and then turned to look back at me.

“Sassenach, do ye want me to take care of…..That.” He asked as I felt his hand rub up and down my back softly. I didn’t even care if Frank saw.

“I….I don’t know.” I said honestly, as I ran my fingers through my hair. “The truth is, he’s my ex-boyfriend that cheated on me and has been trying to get back with me for almost two months. I’ve told him time and time again, it is over and it is done. I am tired of telling him no.”

Jamie let out a small chuckle and put his hand on my shoulder. “So isna a no but isna a yes.”

Whatever courage and bravery I had felt was completely zapped, I was drained. I had been going in circles with Frank for two months and the weight of that and the pressures of school were bearing to be too much. And while I was emotionally drained, I also felt strong and vulnerable in the presence of Jamie- a feeling I had never felt before. A sense of strength I had never felt before.

I shook my head and stood up. “No, I can handle him.” I said as I wiped the tears off my face.

Jamie shook his head and squared himself in front of me. “Aye. I ken ye can, but if he goes as far as touches ye, just pull on yer right ear and I will come handle the English man.”

I laughed as I touched his cheek gently brushing it with my fingers. “He’s the ‘Englishman’ and I’m ‘Sassenach’ when we’re both truthfully sassenachs…. Jamie Fraser you are one confusing man.” I said as I walked to the front door and walked outside.

I wrapped my arms around my waist as the cold Scottish air filled my lungs.

“Frank.” I stammered.

“Who is, that?” Frank ordered, pointing inside the bar. I immediately knew he was referring to Jamie.

“Jamie. The bartender at this place.” I said, simply matter of fact.

“Why did he have his hands all over you?” Frank said. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten.

“Frank, I am not your property and I am not yours anymore. First off Jamie is just, a friend, and second you have no right to be possessive of me. Must I remind you, you are the one who cheated on me. And why did you find me, at nearly two am on a Friday night!” I snapped at him. I leaned against the window and could sense Jamie watching from inside the bar.

“Claire, you were not responding to any of my calls or texts. I wanted to see you, to try and reason-“

I raised my hand as to stop him- and it did shut him up. “Frank. We’ve been through this. Multiple times. It is over. You and me. We are finished and it is nobody’s fault but your own. I am sorry that you came all this way to find me when the answer is the same.”

Frank took a small step towards me and wiped a piece of hair out of my face. “Claire.” He said softly as he took my face into his hands.

I heard the swoosh of the door as it opened and the rush of warm air at my feet. 

“I’d like ye to take yer hands off the lass. I think she verra much made her intentions clear.” Jamie said in a stern Scottish voice as he appeared behind me. I could feel his large presence behind me and the warmth of his hands as he took me by the shoulders and pulled me a few feet back from Frank. But Frank took a step forward towards me.

I felt Jamie shift so that he was in front of me, shielding me. “I said, the lass made her intentions clear. And I would like it verra much if ye’d take yer leave now. It is getting close to closing time.”

Frank stood straight and nodded, sticking his hands in his pocket. “Alright then, goodbye, Claire.” He replied as he turned on his heel and made his way down the block.

Whatever stamina I had left was completely gone, my walls were broken and battered and I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. Jamie turned to look at me and wrapped me up in his arms, like a child, carrying me back inside the bar.

His breath was hot and voice soft and quiet in my ear. “Shhhhh. Rest now. No one will harm ye. I’m here.”

I took my head off his chest and looked up at him. I knew my eyes were swollen, red and puffy, but I didn’t care. I felt safe and protected. “You barely know me and look at me. I’m a basket case of emotions and my ex is stalking me.”

Jamie let out a small chuckle as he set me on the top of the bar. “Mo nighaen donn, yer safe. The prick is gone. I just have to lock up the back and then I will walk ye home.”

“You don’t have-“ I started but was stopped as he placed a single finger on my lips to keep me from responding.

“Yer right, I dinna have too. But I want to… I also want to make sure the man isna waiting for ye at yer flat. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, is it no’?” Jamie asked as he reached in his pocket for some keys. “Stay here. I will no’ be verra long.”

I sighed and nodded in agreement as he went to the back and locked up. Jamie was gone for less than two minutes and was back at my side. He had put on his jacket and grabbed my bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“You look incredibly ridiculous with that bag over your shoulder, if I must say so.”

Jamie laughed, making a small Scottish sound, as we exited the bar and he locked up the front.

“It’s late and cold, and you are in luck Mr. Fraser. I am actually just around the corner.” I said as I pointed down the block.

“Isna a problem.” Jamie said.

We walked in silence all the way back to my flat. He followed quietly behind me, up the four flights of stairs as we made our way to my floor.

“403. This is me.” I said as I reached into the bag on his shoulder for my keys.

I watched as Jamie shrugged his shoulders and then stiffened for a moment.

“What is it?” I asked as I watched him glance through the corridor.

“Sassenach, I would feel much more comfortable if ye’d let me take a look through yer place. Make sure it’s safe.”

I half laughed at his comment, but stopped myself when I saw the seriousness in his eyes.

“Uh, sure, you can. But as persistent as Frank is… He is not violent. And I changed my locks after he moved out. He doesn’t even know it.”

Jamie smiled in response to my words as I slowly opened the door.

“It’s not much… But it’s clean and well, home.” I said as we walked into my flat and I closed the door behind him. I took off my jacket, hanging it on the wall and went to take Jamie’s jacket off his shoulders. He smiled over his shoulder as he slid it off and handed it to me.

“Just wait here for a minute. Can ye do that?” Jamie said. I crossed my arms and rested my back against the front door, nodding. “Thatsa good lass.” He croaked as he made his way through the living room.

I watched him as he inspected the kitchen, and then my bedroom. I heard the squeak of my closet door as he inspected it. A few seconds later Jamie reappeared in my living room and sat down on the couch. “Safe, Sassenach.” He said as he ran his hands through his hair, resting his head back and closing his eyes.

“Thank you, for everything tonight.” I said as I joined him on the couch.

“Tis no’a problem.” Jamie mused looking down at me. “But you and Frank?”

“We have been for a very long time.” I replied resting my head back on my couch too.

“Well, Sassenach, that is a verra good thing.” Jamie said- but I hadn’t heard him, as I was drifting off slowly to sleep.

________

I woke up the next morning very confused. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. My hair was all in my face and I smelled like a hospital still. I reached for my phone but felt a pair of jeans that wasn’t mine and realized there was a body that was not mine- nor one that I knew- next to me. I slowly pushed the hair out of my face and looked up at the ceiling- at least I was at my flat. I then turned my face up, slowly, to the gigantic body that was next to me and saw a mop of red curls and Jamie’s eyes closed, his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest.

“Oh my god.” I whispered to myself. I looked down, luckily I was still fully clothed. “Ok, Beauchamp. Pull it together.”

I reached for my phone and say four texts from Joe.

_‘LJ did you make it home safe?’_

_‘Lady Jane, did Frank find you. I tried to tell him not to go, but I couldn’t just leave him hanging, either. I knew you could put him in his place. Call me, Gail and I are worried.’_

_‘Claire if you don’t call me soon, I am going to show up at your apartment.’_

_‘You have thirty minutes to answer me.’ ___

____

____

I quickly slid my phone open as I felt a small chuckle come from my side.

“Please dinna tell me ye have another ex I should have to worry about.” Jamie laughed.

I couldn’t help but laugh too. “No. Joe and his wife Gail, are two of my best friends, and the closest thing I have to family.”

Quickly I shot Joe a text.

_‘I am fine. I am safe. Will call you in a bit.’_

It was all I could bring myself to type, not sure if Jamie was watching me send the message or not.

I sent the text and sat myself up right, turning to face Jamie. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that.”

Jamie stretched his arms over his head and grunted as he stood, stretching some more. *GOD he was large. and GOD he was beautiful.*

“Dinna fash, Sassenach… I didna mean to fall asleep either. I uh, think it best that I get going. I have to meet my sister Jenny for lunch in just over an hour.”

I got up to my feet and struggled to make my hair cooperate with me. “Of course.” I said as I followed him to the door. I watched as he put his jacket on and then turned to face me.

“Sassenach… I uh…. Dinna usually do things… Like this. I am sorry.” I couldn’t help but smile as he looked utterly embarrassed.

“No, no. Don’t be silly.” I said as I placed my hand on his chest. *Who was this Claire?* I thought to myself. “I don’t either, and I am so very sorry about Frank. I will have to handle that again. But, I think you helped get the message across that him and I are over.”

“The lad shoulda gotten the message the first time. Ye canna help stupid, I suppose.” Jamie said as he placed his hand over mine- the one I had placed on his chest just a moment before. I felt his muscles stiffen and saw him stand a bit straighter as he looked down at me. “Sassenach, this uh, might be a wee bit forward, but I was wondering, would ye like to join me for dinner, say tonight?”

I blushed and without missing a beat spoke softly as I looked up to meet his gaze. “Yes.”

“Och. Alright then. 8 o’clock. Be ready. I’ll come for ye here. Since I know where ye live.” Jamie said as he turned and opened the door. He took the small step into the hallway and then turned to face me. “There’s no’ getting out of it, just so ye ken.” Jamie said, with a triumphant smile on his face as he turned and made his way down the corridor.

I closed the door, breathless, and leaned back against my doorframe. “I have a date with Jamie Fraser.” I said quietly to myself.

Who the hell was I? And what was this bartender doing to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, THANK you for all the kind words and kudos. I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire gets ready for her date, when an unexpected visitor greets her at her front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that, my time in Scotland has come to an end. I am venturing back to the States today. With that being said, here is the next chapter!

_‘So Lady Jane, what exactly happened to you last night?’ Joe laughed from the other end of the phone. I could hear Gail in the background yelling something too, but it was inaudible. ‘Hold on, Gail’s trying to talk to you too, let me put you on speaker!’_

I laughed as Joe put me onto speaker and heard what Gail was saying. _‘We want all the details and I want to know how good he was in bed!’ ‘Me as well!’ Joe bellowed._

I clutched my phone tightly in my hands and sat back on the couch.

“First of all, I did not sleep with him. Second of all — I just went to his bar last night and then Frank showed up. Which Jamie handled like a true gentleman. And thirdly, we have a date tonight. He seems to be a very old fashioned man, if I were to say so myself!” I responded. I smiled as Gail laughed in the background.

_‘He very well may be a gentleman, Claire, but I can guarantee you he still wants to get into your bed. So did half the guys at Church last night, not that you seemed to notice!’ Gail beckoned and I could hear Joe laugh. ‘She has no idea how many guys stare at her.’ Joe said to Gail._

I blushed and put them on speaker myself as I opened my laptop.

“I can still hear you!” I mused . The Abernathy’s laughed and I googled places to eat near me trying to come up with an idea for dinner, just incase Jamie asked for a place — but I had a feeling he would know what to do or where to go. Still, better to be prepared, I thought to myself.

_‘So, LJ, we’re going to let you go, but please, let us know how the date goes tomorrow. We expect a phone call. But, if shit hits the fan rather quickly and you need rescuing, you know where to find me.’ Joe said as he took me off speaker. ‘You’re off speaker, but seriously, if you need me to come get you out of it, just text me.’_

“Thanks Joe, but after watching him with Frank last night I think I will be okay. But you know I love the gesture. I am going to study a bit before I have to get ready….. Tell Gail I love her and you two have a good day!” I said as I hung up the phone.

Pushing my thoughts away from James Fraser, I opened my notes and threw myself into my studies.

__________

“The last time I went shopping for clothes, Geillis, was probably about my final year in university. I think it was for that reception for getting into med school.” I said as I zipped the side of the red dress up right under my armpit.

Geillis Duncan, a nurse who I had befriended on one of my surgical rotations, was a fiery red headed Scot, and was always known to give a brutally honest opinion. AKA, She was just the person for me to take dress shopping.

“Just come on out, ye fool!” Geillis said as I opened the door. “Damn.” Geillis said as she sat back in the chair and smirked. “That is the one.”

I rolled my eyes and exited the fitting room. “This is the first store and the first dress.” I muttered trying not to appear to love the dress too much.

“I ken. But yer ass looks great and the color is fantastic. Ye just need a cardigan to go on top of it and that fantastic black trench coat ye already own.” Geillis said as she smiled at me.

“Oh my god. How do you just… do it?” I asked as I looked at myself in the mirror. I took stock in what my appearance was. It was a knee length dress that had a plunging v-neck. Although the neck was deep, it left enough to the imagination one wouldn’t consider it to be too indecent. The arms were long sleeve and had a lace cap over top. The bottom was a bit clingy to my curves but also flowed freely. It was fun and flirty, revealing yet modest, not too fancy or too simple, and the color looked great with my complexion.

Geillis smiled as she watched my face in the mirror. “Ye ken it’s the dress too. I see it on yer face.”

I nodded as I smiled and slid back into the dressing room. “Yes. This is the dress. Thank you for picking it out.”

I heard Geillis laugh as I closed the fitting room door. “That’s what friends are for.”

__________

I poured myself another glass of Syrah as I wrapped my robe tight around my waist. I peered over my shoulder to look at the clock on the oven.

7:18

I had about thirty minutes to finish getting ready, which I knew wouldn’t take that long.

I had already taken a shower about an hour before, taming my curls and allowing nature to pretty much take its course. I was never one for much makeup, but settled for a natural look with a little bit of eyeliner and mascara. It was enough to make it look like I had put forth some effort but not too much that I appeared to fret over how I looked.

I sat down on the couch twirling my glass of red wine in my hand and was brought back to dates with Frank. I was constantly nervous, on edge, and scared I was going to do or say the wrong thing. Those feelings followed me even until the last few months we had been dating. I always felt I was forced to be someone when I was with him, rather than Claire Beauchamp that I was. 

Frank had been everything I had thought I would have wanted in a man, smart, competent, safe, and determined. We always had a plan and things had always gone according to it- until I had applied to medical school. My thoughts brought me to Jamie and how I felt utterly like- Claire Beauchamp- around him and how for the first time, maybe this is what love is supposed to feel like.

“Love.” I choked quietly to myself. “You haven’t even gone out with him yet!” But although I hadn’t gone out with him yet, I knew there was something different about him. Something that rocked me deep in my core and was going to unnerve me if I didn’t try and figure this Scot out.

I sat on the couch mindlessly flipping through the TV channels nursing my glass of wine. I loved to drink and red wine always gave me a natural, rosy glow. I didn’t want to drink too much before Jamie came to get me, but two glasses was enough to get the wine glow started and enough to take the edge off- except for this first date, I found myself having no nerves, not being on edge, but rather being entirely content and confident. 

I happily settled on Real Housewives of Los Angeles and spent the next twenty minutes laughing at trash TV. The alarm on my phone went off at 7:40 and I ran to my bedroom.

__________

I slid the red dress on and strapped my black heels on.

I put my mother’s watch on, grandmother’s pearl earrings and the bracelet Uncle Lamb gave me for my 17th birthday. I sprayed a bit of my Chanel perfume and grabbed the black cardigan and jacket. As I was turning the lights off in my bedroom, I heard a knock on the door. I glanced down at my watch, 7:55PM. 

With a smile on my face, I walked to my front door and unlocked it and opened the door. When I looked up the smile faded from my face and a frown was evident.

“Frank, what are you doing here?” I stammered as I looked at my ex-boyfriend standing at the entrance to my apartment.

“Wow.” Frank said as he put his hands in his pocket. “You look great, Claire.”

I took a deep breath and finished buttoning my trench coat. “I will ask you again, what are you doing here?”

Frank softly smiled as he shrugged his shoulders. “You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts. I figured I would have to find you at home, but it appears I caught you at a bad time.”

“Frank.” I said as I grabbed the clutch from my entry way. “You are catching me at a bad time. I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Why, Claire? I just want to know why….I apologized and said I was sorry. I know I was unfair to you when we were together. I want to try again.”

I stepped into the hallway and closed my front door locking the deadbolt. “I have said my peace. It is over. I cannot repair the damage you did to us and I don’t want too. I’ve moved on, Frank. I think it is time you did so too.” I said as I kissed his cheek and turned the corner to the elevator.

I closed the elevator, leaving him on the fourth floor. By the time I got down the lobby of my complex, I was high tailing it out of my building.

I was stopped by a firm grasp on my waist as a tall gentleman stopped me in my tracks. Once I got my bearings, I could sense the familiarity in the hands that had stopped me.

“Sassenach, ye look like ye caught a ghost!” Jamie said as he took his finger and tilted my chin up towards his face. 

I laughed softly as he wiped a small tear from my face.

“Och.” Jamie said slightly laughing as he pulled me in to a hug. “That English prick, was it?”

I snorted a half laugh half snob into his chest. “Yes. Oh, Jamie I’m sorry you had to catch me down here… I just didn’t want to try and entertain him.”

“I ken what ye mean.” Jamie said as he looked down at me and cusped my face in between both of his hands. “Sassenach, if ye dinna mind. I would like verra much to kiss ye… I have wanted too since I woke up this morning to that mop of a hair in my face. I havena stopped thinking about it all day and ye wearing that dress and those heels that make yer arse look so fine. I just…. I would verra much like to kiss ye. May I?”

“You may.” I said as he put his lifts on mine. He tasted like whisky, smoke, a bit of musk, and a whole lot of Jamie.

“Wow, where’d you learn to kiss like that?” I asked, breathless, as he pulled his face away from me.

“I dinna ken.” Jamie mused, resting his forehead on mine. “Ye look beautiful, Claire. Can I take ye to dinner now?”

“You may.” I answered as he took a step back and briefly bowed like he was some 18th century Highlander. I became breathless as I took in his appearance. He was in a kilt, button down white shirt, black jacket and tie.

Jamie looked at me with a bit of confusion on his face and I blushed turning my head into my shoulder. “What is it?” He asked.

“You look wonderful too.” I said as I felt him grab my hand.

“Weel, that is a wonderful thing for ye to say, but not as good as ye look yourself. Now, I ken that we’re both probably a bit nervous as we dinna do this verra often. But ye make it feel like we have already done this a hundred times or so. I dinna what makes me more nervous, the fact this is our first date or the fact it feels like we have already done this before. Either way…. Would you like to join me, milady?” Jamie asked as he pulled me towards him. I could feel the goosebumps on his forearm as he pulled me into his side.

I softly smiled into him as I rested my head on the side of Jamie’s arm and felt his hand wrap around my waist. I couldn’t help but silently agree with Jamie too.

I had never felt this way with Frank — no matter how long we had been dating. And now, this Scottish man shows up and I feel the most secure and safe I had felt in any time in my whole life.

I also had to admit to myself, I felt as if I had known Jamie my whole life. Rationally, my scientific brain was shouting that this should alarm me, but somewhere deep inside, I knew I was safe and everything I had once thought and wanted from life was changing.

“I assume you have a plan.” I said as we rounded another corner.

“Aye, I do. Follow me and I shall keep ye safe, always.” Jamie said as he pulled a blindfold around my eyes. “Blind trust, do you have it?” Jamie laughed as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“If it’s you I have to follow, always.” I answered.

“Come on then, Sassenach.” Jamie said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. “Ye are in for a treat tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do hope you enjoyed! Thanks for taking the time to read!


	5. Surpries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie takes Claire on their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEP. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and that it's been worth the wait.

I felt Jamie’s large, calloused hand, as he led me through a door. Still blind folded, I couldn’t see a thing, but I smelled something wonderful. My stomach growled and I placed my hand that wasn’t in Jamie’s on my stomach laughing quietly behind him.

“Sassenach, ye are hungry. I could hear your stomach growl all the way through the Highlands. Did ye no’ feed yerself today?” Jamie asked as I felt him place his hands on my shoulder. 

“I haven’t eaten all day… I studied this morning and then ran some errands with a friend and now I’m with you. I just have forgotten.” I said as I took my hand and placed it on his that was still on my shoulder. “Are we there yet?” I mused.

“Impatient are ye?” Jamie laughed as he undid the blindfold over my face. “But yes, we are here.” 

I blinked a few times to get the blurriness out of my eyes and get reacquainted with the light. 

I stopped, standing still taking it all in. We were at a restaurant I had never been too. The tiles on the floor were black and white and there white subway tiles lining the wall. It was a small place, no more than ten tables, but there was no other soul in the place except for the two of us. Tea lights covered the ceiling and black and white photos of Paris streets covered the walls. There was one table set up with a bottle of champagne and two candle sticks on it. 

“Jamie.” I said breathlessly. “How much did you spend to get the entire place for the night?” 

“I didna do such thing.” He replied as he took my coat off and placed it on a coat rack. 

“You don’t need to spend a lot of money on me….” I started and stopped as I watched him cross his arms and give me a daring look. 

“I was the one who asked ye out. I wanted a bit of a wow factor. Are you saying ye dinna like the place?” Jamie said as a smile escaped his face, he was hiding something from me, I could tell. 

“It’s a lovely place, but you, Mr. Fraser- there is something you aren’t telling me.” I said as I stuck a finger into his chest. Jamie grabbed my finger and took my hand leading me towards the table. 

“Sassenach, let’s sit. We’ll get there, I promise.” 

He led me to the one table that was set up and poured us two glasses of champagne, and then he sat down across from me. 

“To new beginnings.” Jamie said with a smile as he tipped his glass towards me. 

“To new beginnings.” I agreed, clinking my glass with his and then took a small sip. “So, tell me about your family.” 

“I have an older sister, named Jenny. She’s married to my eldest friend, Ian Murray and they have a son, named Jamie. Also goes by young Jamie when we are all together.” Jamie said, taking a sip of his drink. “Ye already ken my parents died when I was younger. They died in a car crash wi’ my brother Willie when I was just a wee lad.” 

I reached under the table and placed my hand on his large knee, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, just tell me you don’t want to talk about it. I understand.” 

He smiled at me and reached for my hand, squeezing it in return. 

“It was a car crash. Jenny and I were with my god father, Murtagh. Driver was drunk, parents died instantly, Willie died due to head injury a few hours later in the hospital. I was verra young, dinna remember it all that well. Yer turn.” Jamie mused. 

“My parents died in a car accident when I was five. My only living relative was my Uncle Lamb, and he took me in. He was an archeologist and so I traveled the world with him, and he died when I was in my first year of university. I moved to Scotland for university because I was awarded a full scholarship. That’s where I met Frank…. And now I’m in medical school. I spend way too much time studying and have no family and just two good friends. I’ve been alone for a long time.” 

“We are quiet the pair, aren’t we, Sassenach?” 

“We are. So, why are we the only customers in this place and why don’t we have a server?” I asked as I took the last swig of champagne. 

“I own this place.” Jamie said as he stood up and poured another round of champagne.

“I’m sorry — you what?” I stammered. 

“I own the place. I’m no’ just a bartender, ye ken.” 

“Well, I reckon. So, then, what’s for dinner?” 

“Steak, mashed potatoes, and asparagus.” 

“Yummmmmm.” I said as I watched him get up and go to the kitchen.

____________

Dinner was fantastic, as I had expected. The company, was even better than I had anticipated. We continued to talk through the night. Jamie told me stories of growing up in the Highland region, and moving to Edinburgh to open a few places like the bar where we met and this restaurant. I told him stories of my time in Egypt and Jordan, and he particularly found my camel riding story amusing.

I was shocked at how easy and natural things felt with Jamie. There was no hidden agenda, no pretending to be someone I wasn’t and for only having known me for two weeks, was already more supportive of my decision to go to med school than Frank had ever been. 

Jamie was something new to me, something foreign. There was something about him, the way he carried himself, the way he talked about his family, the way he talked about his hopes and dreams for the future, and it made me long for things I had once told Frank I didn’t want. 

I took the last bite of my steak and looked up to find Jamie’s eyes intently on mine. 

“What, do I have something in teeth?” 

“No, I was just admiring the company. I have had a lovely time this evening.” 

“Oh.” I said, blushing, and staring down at my empty plate. “The company has been rather entertaining.” I looked up and found Jamie was tapping his knee with his fingers, I could see the wheels spinning in his head. “Out with it.” 

Jamie opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then stopped and pursed his lips together. I pushed my plate slightly forward and sat back in my chair, finishing my glass of water. I wasn’t going to rush him.After a quiet few minutes he spoke, barely audible. 

“There are things that I canna tell you, at least not yet. And I'll ask nothing of ye that ye canna give me. But what I would ask of ye---when you do tell me something, let it be the truth. And I'll promise ye the same. We have nothing now between us, save---respect, perhaps. And I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies. Do ye agree?” 

Bewildered by his statement, I just nodded. 

“Ok. I only have one question for ye. Ye dinna have to give me the whole story but just the outline and what ye are comfortable telling me, alright?” Jamie asked. Again, I nodded, watching him closely. “Will ye tell me the story of Frank?” 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding — that was not as nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. “That’s all you wanted to ask me and you looked so serious. You had me scared for a minute, but yes, I will tell you.” 

I told him, and I told him everything. How we met and about the life I had once shared with Frank. I told him all of the good and I told him all of the bad and I told him my fears of being cheated on yet again. I laid my heart out, all my hopes and fears to Jamie. He sat, listening, taking it all in, holding on to every word I said. Frank had never listened to me like this. By the time I was finished, I felt the tears on my face. I took the napkin and dabbed my face. 

Jamie, still sitting across from me, reached his hand out too me. I stood up, taking it, and he pulled me onto his lap, cradling me like a child. 

“You, Sassenach, are too pretty to cry like that. Hush now, mo chridhe. I willna do that to ye. Ye have my word.” Jamie said as he brushed some curls out of my face. 

“You have an awful amount of faith in us and we’ve only been on one date.” 

That made Jamie chuckle and I found myself wishing to be able to do this for the rest of time. 

“This, what it is between us, I dinna ken what it is. But I will no’ lie, I love the way it makes me feel.” 

I clutched his tie, pulling his attention down to me. “What it is between us. I feel like it should scare me, but it doesn’t. You’re something special, Jamie Fraser.” 

He smiled as he placed his lips, softly on mine. I took my tongue, running it across his top lip- he tasted of rosemary and a bit of champagne. I deepened the kiss, wrapping my hands around his neck. 

“Sassenach.” He breathed as he trailed kisses down my neck. “I would like to take ye home. Would that be alright.” 

“It would be more than alright.” I said as I kissed him quickly, standing up and walking to the door. “Let’s go, now.” 

Jamie laughed as he stood up, turned the lights off in the restaurant and put his jacket on. I grabbed his hand, leading him outside. 

“You are going to give me a run for my money, aren’t ye, Sassenach?” Jamie asked as he locked the door. 

“I don’t know. We’ll just have to find out, won’t we?” I said standing on my tip toes, kissing him once more. 

“Aye, lass, ye definitely are.” Jamie said as he pulled me forward, leading me down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading! And the kind words, kudos, and shares. You are all the best readers.


	6. With Haste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie takes Claire home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote this and I wrote it, in a matter I was comfortable doing so. I’m sorry if it’s not as, explicit as you might have hoped, but I am just not there as a writer. I did what felt right and what I was comfortable doing, and hope that you are okay with that decision! But enough about that… Here’s the chapter!

Jamie led us through a few city blocks. His hand held on to mine- he was trailing a few steps ahead of me, his grasp on my fingers was strong and warm as the chilly March air hit our faces. I could sense the wind was making my face flush a bit and said a silent thank you to Geillis for liking the red dress because it was luckily, easy to take on and off. And if Jamie was half as eager as I was, I had a feeling it would be coming off the minute we were in a more private space.

Having lost myself in thought, I took a step forward and crashed into Jamie’s side.

“Ye alright, Sassenach?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around me, steadying me.

“I’m fine. I just got lost in thought for a moment.” I said, honestly as I looked up to his face. He took a breath and looked at me, I could tell he was searching for answers and it was clear what I was thinking.

“Ye… Ye are still okay wi’ this? It willna hurt my feelings if ye want to slow things down. I can be a patient man when I need to be.” Jamie said as he entered in a code to open the the door to his building.

I nodded and simply walked past him and entered the foyer, running my hands through my hair, giving him the answer he wanted. I stopped at the top of the stairs when I didn’t hear his footsteps behind me. I laughed as I looked down at him- his arms crossed and muttering something quietly to himself.

“What was that you were saying?” I asked as I took my jacket off and held it on my fingertips and in a way that was seductive, or as seductive as I could possibly be- and slung it over my shoulder.

Jamie laughed and looked up at me. “Sassenach…. It’s just…. it isna going to sound right if I say it to ye.”

“James.” I said, sternly, taking two small steps down so I was now standing at his eye level. He muttered something again to himself and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ll tell me, or I will walk out that door.” That got his attention and he backed up to the door, shielding it so I wouldn’t leave.

“No.” He said firmly. “It is just, it will sound verra bad so dinna judge me for it.”

“I won’t.” I answered him and took a half step down.

“I was watching ye walk up those stairs….” Jamie said as I watched him shall his head. “And, my god, ye have the roundest arse I’ve ever seen and I was just thinking of all the things I want to do to ye, when I have ye naked and willing. Hopefully in a verra short amount of time now because, Sassenach, I want ye, and I want ye verra badly.”

“So, you’re saying, that you like me because of my round ass?” I laughed, turning and walking up the stairs again. This time, I could hear his footsteps slowly coming up. “Regardless, are you coming slow poke or am I going to have to do this alone?” 

That got his attention even quicker and suddenly I found myself slung over his shoulder and a firm grasp on my ass as he sped walked up the two stories to his flat.

________

  
It was a flurry of events as he opened his door and turned some lights on, placing me down on the ground. Jamie all but threw his jacket on the floor and then reached for mine, tossing it on the foyer floor.

“It’s no’ much, but it’s home, ye ken?” Jamie said as he locked the door. I took a small look around. His place was small but modest. There was a black leather couch, dark cherry wood furniture around. The hardwood floors were old and had nice character. The kitchen was tucked off in the corner and I could see his cabinets were a dark wood. The bedroom was just off the other side of the living room.

“I know exactly what you mean.” I said turning around to face Jamie who was still standing in the doorway. I blushed, feeling his gaze stare right through me. “What is it?”

“I will only ask ye once more, are ye sure you are okay with this?” Jamie asked as he took a step closer to me. I was feeling brave, slightly even reckless, I found that this was how I always felt with him. Like, it was a fire he ignited inside of me, one I didn’t even knew had existed. I closed the distance between us and put my hands on the belt that was holding his kilt up.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I said inquisitively as I started to undo the his belt buckle.

“Aye, ye are.” Jamie said as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” I said as I threw his belt to the floor, taking the kilt with it. Jamie let out another breath and tilted his head down to look at me. I smiled up at him as I brought my right foot to my left knee and slid off my heel.

“I was thinking of how, I’m verra ready to have you alone and naked.” Jamie said as he started to undo his tie.

I took off my other heel and tossed it somewhere into the abyss of the living room. I smiled softly at him, tousling my hair and walking backwards toward the bedroom.

Jamie let out a small Scottish sound as he picked up the pace and was in front of me- mouth on mine, in what seemed like a nanosecond.

It was a blur after that— his hands all over me, trying to find the zipper on my dress. Breathless and in between kisses, I somehow managed to stutter that it was on my side.

I felt his large hands as he tried to find it- his mouth never leaving my skin. As we stumbled backwards I found his hand and pushed it to the zipper.

“Thank Christ.” He muttered between nips on my neck. I felt a rush of cold air as it slipped off my body and I was left in nothing but my under garments.

Jamie stopped and took a long hard look up and down my body. Feeling a bit self conscious for a moment I took a step back, even closer to the bed.

“What, have you never seen a naked woman before?” I asked as I reached behind my to my back, undoing the lacy bra I was wearing.

“I… uh…..No’ one I have ever wanted, so badly.” Jamie said. I used my pointer finger, beckoning him forward. He obliged, closing the distance between us.

I shimmied my panties down, blushing as I put my hands on his shirt. “I want to see you.” I said as I started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

Jamie huffed, he was growing impatient, as was I, and he stopped me suddenly, pulling his shirt over his head. I heard the soft splatter of what must have been two buttons popping off his shirt- but he didn’t care, nor did I, as his mouth encompassed mine once more and he pulled me down onto the bed.

________

  
I woke up up the next morning to a sense that someone was watching me. I rubbed my eyes, allowing myself to adjust to the beginnings of daylight. I could feel a large, calloused hand on my hip. Jamie’s other hand was running lightly along my face.

I smiled as I rolled over. A large and naked Scottish man was smiling next to me. I blushed, feeling almost like I was in a dream.

“Ye look like ye had a rough night there, Sassenach.” Jamie said as brushed a curl out of my face.

“My legs feel like jello, that’s for sure.” I said barely audible.

“What is it? Do ye regret it, or was it no’ up to yer expectations?” Jamie said as he looked down at my face for answers.

I pulled myself closer to him, kissing the base of his jaw softly.

“No…. It was, more than my expectations…. I just, am not usually like this, I mean— I just…” I stammered trying to put my thoughts into words.

“I ken what ye mean. I dinna take a woman to my bed verra often.. Let alone on the first date….” Jamie said, trying to find his own words. “What it is between us, Sassenach, isna normal is it?”

“Things are often something like this….” I answered taking his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. “But no this isn’t usual.”

Jamie pulled me towards him, aligning me on top of him. I more than happily obliged, taking his mouth onto mine. He grunted in response, rolling so that he was on top of me again- pinning me to the mattress. I thrust my hips up in response, feeling very thankful for this particular wake up call.

________

  
I woke again, sometime later, to the sound of Joe’s ringtone on my phone. I sat up, slightly startled, and looked across the room. My bra was on Jamie’s dresser, my panties tossed onto a light shade, my dress on a hamper in the corner. Jamie’s shirt was right in the doorway, his tie at the foot of the bed. I laughed, blushing to myself, as I realized Jamie wasn’t in the room.

I got up, running to the door, and put his shirt on. As I entered the living room, I heard the buzz of pots and pans in the kitchen. I walked to the entry way, finding my phone in my jacket pocket on the floor.

I slid the lock screen open, answering Joe’s phone call.

"Joe!" I said, softly. "Can’t talk. At Jamie’s, will phone you later." And hung up the call. I laughed as he hastily had answered me with a text.

_‘Gail owes me five bucks, knew you’d spend the night with him. Can’t wait to hear about it LJ!’_

I pushed my phone back into the pocket of my jacket dropping it back on the foyer floor, and in stealth mode walked to the kitchen.

________

  
Breakfast was fantastic, just as dinner had been. It shocked me how good of a cook Jamie was. Jamie took the last bite of his food, as he looked up and smiled at me. “Ye look good in my shirt, Sassenach.”

“I think it looks better on me than it does you. I for one, like you shirtless.” I said as I brought my legs up and crossed them and pushed my plate forward.

“I was wondering, if ye had plans for today?” Jamie said, almost blushing and looking uneasy.

I glanced over to the stove and looked at the clock. 11:14AM. “I don’t have any plans today…. I do need to study at some point, but that can wait a few hours. What did you have in mind?”

Jamie smiled at my answer and put his elbows on the table locking eyes with mine. “Good. There’s somethings I want to show ye today, if ye wanted to spend some more time with me.”

I nodded at him. “I would love too, although, we need to make a stop by my apartment because I need some clothes. I can’t run around Edinburgh in just your shirt.”

“No, ye canna do that. Let me take a quick shower and get ready, then we’ll go to your place.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I said, standing up and undoing the top button of his shirt. “I could take a shower over here and then just get dressed at my place…..”

Jamie made another Scottish noise of amusement as he stood, grabbing me by the hand.

“Come on, Sassenach.”

I followed swiftly behind him, pondering just how much more Jamie Fraser could surprise me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading!


	7. Views

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire spend the rest of the day together admiring the views and each other's company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter features a piece of art by @outlanderedandoverhere on Tumblr! It just so perfectly fit this chapter, I squealed with excitement and was able to get her permission to add it to the chapter!

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2v2ec08)

 

We showered and made our way to my flat rather quickly. As I entered my place, Jamie threw himself on my couch quiet comfortably, like he was already in the habit of making himself at home.

I laughed as I touched his shoulder. “Alright, you’re in jeans and a sweater, rather casual. Is the same kind of apparel okay for me?”

“Aye, Sassenach. Something comfy and some good walking shoes.” Jamie said as he rested his head back and closed my eyes.

“Don’t get too comfy, I won’t take too long.” I replied as I ran my fingers through the thick curls on his head and made my way into my bedroom.

Walking quickly to my closet, I settled on a pair of jeans, a long sleeve white shirt with my med school’s sweatshirt and a pair of boots that were fairly worn.

I quickly ran to the bathroom, throwing a bit of mascara on and tried to tame my curls. When they weren’t cooperating, I grumbled and threw it up in a messy bun of sorts and gave up, joining Jamie again in the living room.

“I think I am properly clothed.” I said with a smile as I made my way into the living room. Jamie still had his eyes closed, but smiled when he felt me sit down next to him and place my hand on his knee. “I’m sorry, did I make you so tired you need to nap before we go?”

He laughed and opened his eyes, looking at me with a grin on his face.

“Ye did tire me out, but no….no rest for the weary. Ye ready to go? Ye might want to grab a beanie if ye have one.” Jamie said putting his hands on his knees and stood up.

“I have one in the pocket of my jacket that’s by the door. Let’s go.”

___________

When we finally reached the top of the hike, Jamie looked down at me and laughed.

“I am surprised, ye were able to keep up wi’ me!” Jamie mused as he wiped a few pieces of sweat from his forehead.

“I spend most days running from class to class and to the hospital. I may not be in gym shape, but I do get some cardio in.” I said as I walked the rest of the steps and joined him at his side.

I watched as Jamie put his hands on his hips and looked down at me then forward. When I finally looked up, I saw the great scope of what was in front of us. Just to the left was the city of Edinburgh, just towards the middle was where city met ocean and the port was there, and to the right were the rolling hills of Scotland.

“Wow.” I said, breathlessly, taking it all in.

“I ken.” Jamie said as he stood, eyes still looking out at the horizon.

We stayed like that, admiring the view and the company, wordlessly silent for a good while.

As the sun started to set over the mountain, I felt Jamie grab my hand and intertwine our fingers. I looked over at him and could see the wheels spinning in his head.

After a few moments, he spoke, quietly, as almost to himself as much as it was to me. “I’m from the Highlands…. A place called Lallybroch. My sister, Jenny and brother in law, Ian live there. I was born there. It’s where my family raised us. After the accident, it was no’ the same. I was no’ the same. I moved to Edinburgh to go to school wi’ my Uncle Dougal, he was the headmaster at an academy. I wasna all that responsible. I was smart and did the work, but I was a bit o’ a trouble maker. I used to sneak out of the campus and come up here and watch the sunrise. It always reminded me of Lallybroch in ways.”

I didn’t say anything, for really, there was nothing I could say. He had shared one of his most intimate places with me, something he held so dear to him — there was nothing I could convey to him in that moment. Instead, I simply brought his hand up to my lips and kissed the backside of his hand.

Jamie took the hand I kissed and ran his fingers against the base of my jaw. “Ye make me wanna show ye my whole life, Sassenach. The good, the bad, the ugly. I havena ever brought someone up here.”

“It’s beautiful up here.” I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“It is. Even more so on days like today, right before it’s supposed to snow. Ye ken tell by the wind and how it is barely moving up here, and the clouds all the way far to the left… They are low. It’s gonna snow tonight and the world is still right before it snows.” Jamie said as he wrapped his left arm around me, he hand finding solace in my back pocket.

I nuzzled my head into his side, as we watched the final remnants of daylight fade below the mountain in peace.

___________

We made our way down from the hike and stopped at a little pub for a beer and some food on the way back to my flat. We spent most of dinner talking about my time in Italy and Greece the summer when I was 14 with Uncle Lamb. Jamie found the stories of me running through ruins lighting cigarettes for my Uncle amusing. We traded stories of our childhoods, the better memories we had of them. We had lost track of time— as the bartender hollered ‘last call’ Jamie and I both laughed realizing we had been there for hours.

I asked for the check and was stopped as Jamie paid, again. I rolled my eyes as he signed the check and stood up, putting my jacket back on.

“Oh look snow!.” I said as we exited the pub. “You were right.”

“I am always right, Sassenach.” Jamie grunted as he slid his jacket on.

“We’re not too far from my flat and there’s a small park we can walk through to get there.” I said as I pulled my arms around Jamie’s elbow and led him through the streets.

It was quiet and peaceful, the slow walk back to my place. We were both taking our time, not wanting the weekend to end. The snow was sticking to everything it touched, leaving a glow of white and yellow in the glimpse of the street lights.

I stopped and stared at the snow flakes.The grass had a fair dusting, enough that foot prints were showing on the sidewalks. I stopped in the middle of the street staring up at the sky. The flurries hitting my wind chapped face. I could feel that my cheeks were beyond wind blown, and tomorrow dawning a surgical mask was going to be painful, but this had been the best weekend I had had in a long time, and I was going to bask in every moment.

I closed my eyes, feeling the flurries frost the tips of my eyelashes. I made a mental note to buy water proof mascara as I could feel the black drips start to roll down my face. I felt the shivers run down my body, it was cold outside but it wasn’t because I was outdoors, it was because I was lacking the presence of the behemoth of a man that had barely left my side all day.

“Jamie Fraser….” I said, loudly enough wherever he was he should be able to hear me. “Where are you?”

I opened my eyes and turned around at a sloth’s pace and received no answer and found Jamie to be nowhere in eye sight. It was dark and only one dull little street light lit the street. I squinted, hoping that my eyes would adjust to the darkness. I huffed in dismay as I couldn’t see much further than a few feet in front of me.

“If you scare me, I swear to god, I will kill you.” I said, mildly irritated. I received no answer and my awareness of the sense I was being watched grew, so I walked slowly towards the street light.

“I am going to kill you….. Jamie…” I said as I started to slow my steps backwards. I heard a rustle to my left, and stopped and turned my head. All of a sudden I felt a ball of snow hit my other side of the face.

“Got ye, Sassenach!” I heard Jamie laugh as he came from out of the shadows. I took my frozen fingers and wiped my face. I half laughed, half choked in anger, but reached to the ground and gathered a ball of snow myself, and pelted it smack in the middle of his face with a small smirk on my own face.

“Got you, Fraser.” I said as I watched him laugh and wipe the snow off his face.

“Christ, ye have a good arm. Good aim too.” Jamie laughed.

“I’m not the meek and obedient type. I like to fight fire with fire.” I said, sparking the fierceness that I could muster when challenges arose.

I watched Jamie as he shook his head and smiled to himself, looking down to the ground.

“I figured as much, Sassenach.” He said as he looked up at me. I smiled sheepishly and took a few steps backwards. I halted as I ran into the street lights pole, but was caught by Jamie’s sturdy hands. 

He said nothing, as he tilted my head up towards him. He placed his lips on mine. His lips were cold and frozen — almost like an ice cube— but as his mouth opened to mine it was warm and inviting. He tasted like beer, salt, and the fried fish we had eaten for dinner. I didn’t mind, I probably tasted the same. It was slow, deliberate, and warmed me to my core. He broke for a minute, trying to catch his breath. I didn’t want it to stop so I stood on my tip toes, wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling his mouth back towards mine.

He laughed as I claimed his mouth again, running my tongue along the curve of his upper lip. He didn’t stop me, but rather wrapped his arms around waist — pulling me closer to him while also pushing my back harder into street light. If this was Jamie’s way of silently claiming me, I enjoyed it — in fact I didn’t want it to stop.

Finally, breathless and with massively chapped lips, I pulled away. My chest moving up and down quickly as I tried to regain control of my breaths.

“When will I be able to see, again? Sassenach. I ken yer building is right there but I canna bring myself to drop ye off yet.” Jamie mustered as he rested his forehead on mine.

“I don’t know, honestly.” I said as I closed my eyes. “I have three really large tests this week and have a packed schedule at the hospital.”

Jamie let out a small Scottish sound of disgruntlement and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Och. I ken ye’d give me a run for my money the first moment ye walked into my bar. Standing there in yer scrubs and yer hair all aloof in that thing ye called a bun.”

“I’m not sure… I really have a busy week…” I said, keeping my eyes closed still. Neither one of us wanted to pull away and have to get back to reality.

“When?” Jamie grunted.

“I…uh…Thursday night. I have a test that ends at 5PM and I’m free that night…I won’t want to go out, I’ll smell like hospital and be exhausted, but I am free.” I said as I bundled my arms through his jacket and around his waist.

“Aye, Thursday it is then.” Jamie said almost barely audible as he kissed me once more.

It was going to be a long, long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading! And if you'd like to check out Outlanderedandoverhere's RedBubble account for prints, you can do so here: https://www.redbubble.com/people/busyfeeart?ref=artist_title_name


	8. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie eagerly await for Thursday to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're not going to be happy with me.. I apologize now!

I woke on Monday feeling like a new person. All my problems and turmoil that Frank had caused over the past few months seemed to have been peeled away by the random appearance Jamie had made in my life.

As I entered the hospital, I felt the buzz of my phone in my jacket. I smiled as I read ‘Jamie’ on the screen.

_‘I ken ye are gonna be a busy lass all week, but just know I am very excited to see ye Thursday. I have a few meetings late tonight so dinna feel the need to reply… Just ken ye will be on my mind. Counting down the minutes to Thursday, Sassenach. XX’_

Geillis caught me walking in, and smiled at me giving me a look that said ‘I know what you did this weekend.’ I could feel my cheeks turning bright red hoping this week went by faster than the speed of sound.

_________

By Thursday, I had spoken to Jamie twice on the phone for no longer than a brief 3 minutes each call before my exhaustion had set in and I had fallen asleep on my end of the line.

My feet ached, I could see the bags under my eyes, and I hadn’t washed my hair in three days. I was making rounds on the peds floor and by noon had been vomited on three times. I had eaten half my lunch before one of my patients had coded and by the time I got back to my leftovers, they were cold, my patient had been declared dead and I had to run to my exam.

I walked out my exam, feeling like I had done well but beyond ready to go home. I wrapped my jacket around my waist, pulling my hair out of its bun and slipping a beanie on. It was only the late afternoon, but Scotland was said to be getting more snow and the chilly air was making its way into the city. 

I glanced down at my phone, 4:45 — I had just enough time to make it home, hopefully take a shower and wait for Jamie to show up with some kind of take out food.

I fast walked the few blocks to my flat and tossed my bag and belongings in the entry way. I quickly glanced down at my phone and had my mood instantly lifted when I saw a text from Jamie.

_‘Finishing a meeting with a gin distributor, then headed to get Chinese and will be at your place in about an hour. Stay away for me, Sassenach.’_

I smiled as I typed my response.

_‘Just got home, going to take a quick shower and start some laundry. It’s supposed to start snowing soon, drive safe.’_

I watched the three little bubbles appear rather quickly and his response zoomed in.

_‘As ye say, see you soon.’_

I plugged my phone into the charger and made my way to the shower.

_________

I took a thorough shower: washed my hair, shaved my legs, and spent ten minutes just soaking up the warmth as the stressful week was figuratively washed off my body.

As I got out of the shower, I put on my oldest and most favorite pair of pajamas. They had a hole on the front from where the pocket was starting to come undone and the grey pants that matched were faded more than I cared to admit.

I shuddered at the memory of the last time I had worn these- Frank had planned on staying the night and surprising me. I had come home from class, thrown them on, and he had threatened to sleep on the couch if I actually wore them to sleep.

_‘No lady should sleep in material… like that.’_ He had angrily stammered at me as he pointed to my over worked and tired form. I had been angry but craving some kind of intimacy, so I had obliged and done as he wished.

Now, I didn’t care anymore and proudly put them on. While I knew Jamie was attracted to me, which was a given, I knew he would never say such a thing or comment on my choice of pajamas to me. For really, what did it matter what I wore to sleep?

“Just another reason the two of you are so vastly different.” I said to nobody but myself as I wrapped a robe around my body.

I meandered to the kitchen, glancing at the clock and figured I had another fifteen minutes or so until Jamie was showing up with our food.

I opened a beer and plopped myself down on the couch, settling to watch the local news.

_________

I woke up on the couch startled and looked down at my watch, 1:05AM. I must have fallen asleep without knowing. I reached and turned the side lamp on and looked around the living room. There was no take out food, no big Scot sleeping next to me, everything was how it had once been. Jamie hadn’t shown.

I felt a ball in my stomach turn, while I didn’t know him all that well — I knew in my gut that James Fraser was not the sort of guy for standing me up or any girl up. This was not his style at all. 

I unlocked my phone and was bombarded with texts.

Geillis _'Claire, call me back!'_ and three phone calls from her.

Mary had texted me _'Let me know if you need anything.'_

I felt a lump in my throat as I noticed all the notices from Joe —

10 missed phone calls from Joe. 17 texts from him.

The knot in my stomach turned into knives as I read the last text Joe had sent me.

_'Lady Jane, I know it’s late. Jamie had an accident. I was on trauma tonight with the attendings. Right now he is stable, but he is in critical condition. Gail’s going to pick you up and bring you here. I will give you all the details when I see you. Bring a change of clothes, I have your shifts covered for the weekend.'_

And it was in that moment, my entire world was turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ALL for all the kind words, excitement, and caps feels. Sorry we hit some turbulence, but it will pay off I swear!


	9. Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jamie's accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEP - We're headed in a better direction, still a little angst filled, but we're getting there. Hang on, folks!

I felt the blood rush from my face — I was already a pale person, but with the sight before my eyes, I could feel myself disappearing into the white, cold, sterile walls of the hospital.

How many times had I seen this imagery in front of me before? I had seen it- almost day in and day out, yet being the one on the receiving end of the news was a whole new thing for me.

Shock. This is what shock must feel like for a person. I knew where I was physically and could see everything that was going on around me, yet it felt as if I was floating above. A spectator amongst a crowd of green and blue scrubs.

_I was supposed to be a doctor. I was supposed to be the one doing the saving._

My hands were cold, I could barely make out my fingertips.

There were breathing tubes, a heart monitor, IV’s attached to both of his hands. The worst piece was the bandages wrapped around his head and paper tape keeping his eyes closed.

_There must have been some sort of head trauma._

I stood in the doorway, watching the nurses check his vitals. I counted the breaths as the machine did the breathing for him.

I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the heart monitor.

_Please beat for just a while longer, please._

I felt a hand on my lower back, bringing me to some sense of reality. “Lady Jane, let’s get you some coffee and we’ll go talk with the neurosurgeon, alright?”

I took the arm Joe offered feeling a sense of momentary peace wash over me.

_You’re not alone anymore, Beauchamp._

“Okay.” That was the only response I could muster.

Joe led us to the surgeon’s lounge and I crashed myself onto the sofa putting my hands on my face.

_In and out, breathe in, breath out, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1._

I could feel Joe’s eyes on me as he leaned against a wall in front of me and Gail was sitting next to me, as she slowly massaged my shoulders.

There was a small knock on the door and a quiet, “Ahem,” I looked up to see Dr. Shepherd the head of neurosurgery standing in the door frame.

“Dr. Beauchamp?” He asked. Still at a loss for words, I just nodded.

“Yes, that’s her. That’s my wife, Gail next to her.” Joe said, shaking Dr. Shepherd’s hand.

“Please, call me Claire.” I croaked, the distraught evident on my face and in my voice.

“Would you like to talk alone?” Dr. Shepherd asked, taking a seat at the table across from the couch.

“No… No… Joe and Gail are like family. They can stay.” I said, giving Dr. Shepherd my full attention.

“Mr. Fraser, is he your…..?” The doctor looked at me.

“He’s my… Uh…. Boyfriend, I guess for all intents and purposes.”

“Ok. Well, he has a Janet Murray listed as his emergency contact. We got a hold of her, and she is on her way. But since you’re a doctor and his girlfriend…. I don’t mind filling you in.”

I nodded and felt the tears threaten to fall as I batted my eyelids quickly hoping to show no sign of weakness- least in front of colleagues. I was trying to be strong but I could feel whatever remainder of strength I had was quickly deteriorating.

“Mr. Fraser was hit on his motorcycle by a drunk driver. The collision happened on a corner and it sent him through the window of a local shop. I have placed him in a medically induced coma at least for a few days. He sustained a hard hit to his head. There’s some brain swelling but no sign of any bleeds. As you well know, the induced coma is just until the swelling goes down.” He paused, sensing I was barely registering the words he had spoken and that I needed a few moments to really hear what he had said.

My mind raced but I nodded, quickly, urging him to continue.

“Now, because he was thrown through a window, there was a fair amount of damage to his back. Dr. Flannery from plastics will come down once he’s finished in OR 3, but they were able to remove the shards of glass. He’s likely to have a substantial damage from that…. It was… Very intense to see. His vitals are strong and I don’t think he should have any lasting significant brain issues, but only time will tell.”

Dr. Shepherd took another pause, scanning my face. He went to speak, and then took a breath, staying quiet for another moment. I shook my head, giving him permission to continue on.

“I’m hoping to take him out of the coma tomorrow afternoon. I am done for the night, and Dr. Mack is on call, but here’s my personal cell. If anything happens please don’t hesitate to reach out. The entire staff is here for you.” Dr. Shepherd stood and places a hand on my shoulder. I placed mine on top of his giving it a gentle squeeze, for I had no words.

“Thank you, Dr. Shepherd.” Joe said as he escorted him out of the room.

Oh god I’m going to meet his sister and I haven’t even met her yet. I don’t even know what Jamie is to me- or what I am to him.

Feeling helpless, I turned to Gail, the panic evident on my face. “Gail… What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to do nothing other than stay by his side and wait. That’s all that can be done. You know that better than anyone.” Gail said, a soft smile on her face.

“I know, I know. I just…. I don’t even know what Jamie and I are, and then he has to go and do something like this? Bloody Scot. If he doesn’t die now I might be the one to kill him myself!” I huffed.

“There’s the Claire I know.” Joe said as he walked back into the room. “I got your shifts covered for the weekend. You are to not work by any means, do you understand me?”

“But—“ I stammered.

“No buts, LJ. That’s an order.”

“Fine.” I said leaning back and crossing my arms. “Oh my god, Jenny… I, his sister.”

“Dr. Shepherd already spoke with her over the phone, she is up to speed on what is going on and his status. She was going to be coming in later tonight though… I’ve had two cots delivered to Jamie’s room in the ICU, one for her and one for you, okay?” Joe said, sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “We’re going to go home, but my phone is on loud, if you need anything or if something changes, you call me.” Joe said as he took my hands into his.

“Thank you, Joe.” I said, leaning forward and giving him a light kiss on his cheek.

___________

My fourth cup of coffee and my watch read 11:20PM. Jenny should be here any minute.

I pulled the chair closer to his bedside, taking his hand into mine.

“God you have large hands, Jamie Fraser.” I whispered. I squeezed it lightly, careful as to not mess up his IV. “I don’t even know what we are and here you go getting yourself into some kind of trouble. If you die on me….. James Fraser, if you die on me, I swear I will resuscitate you and make sure to kill you with my own two hands. You are NOT…. You hear me, you ARE NOT allowed to die on me!”

“Aye, ye are a Sassneach, that’s for sure.” I heard come from a small voice in the doorway. “I’m Jenny, ye must be Claire.”

I stood, the blush running to my cheeks. “I, uhm… Yes, Claire. Claire Beauchamp.”

“I ken who ye are. Jamie hasna stopped talking about ye since ye walked into his bar that one night. It’s nice to finally meet ye, though I wish it were under different circumstances.” Jenny said taking a small step towards me. I fumbled for a response, but stuck my hand out to shakes hers— but she pulled me in, embracing me into a warm, motherly like hug.

She was small, a few inches shorter than I was, but I couldn’t have felt more safe in her embrace.

It might actually be okay. I thought to myself as she squeezed me closer to her body.

“He’s a stubborn fool that one.” Jenny laughed as she let go. “Always getting himself into some kind o’ trouble and I have to clean up for him or make some kind of excuse.”

“I know you’re probably caught up to speed… But he’s stable, good vital signs…. He’s breathing on his own with some help from the machine.” I said pitifully.

“Claire, ye dinna need ta be in doctor mode right now. I ken ye are something special to my brother and he’s in good hands. Why don’t ye just act like a worrit girlfriend for a night.”

That was all it took, the dam of emotions I had been holding in for the better part of the evening released. I crumbled into the chair, my curls covering my face. I felt Jenny stand slightly next to me on my right, one hand on my shoulder, the other firmly locked on her brother’s hand. 

“James Fraser, ye damned fool. Wake up so ye can tell the lass ye love her like ye told me on Monday.” Jenny whispered, so quietly that I don’t think she thought I could hear her. But I did.

_To tell the lass ye love her — I thought to myself. He already loves me?_

My heart crumpled as I sat there, the realization all too clear at the forefront of my mind- I loved him too- but would I ever be able to tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading!


	10. Ativan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie wakes up from his coma, and Claire? Claire who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave you hanging too long!

The Ativan drip had stopped a few hours ago. The nurses had switched shifts at 7 — It was now nearing 9:30 at night.

His second day in a coma— just over 50 hours since his accident. He had been off a ventilator for almost 15 hours now.

Dr. Shepherd had said his MRI scan was clean today, the swelling had gone down and there was no sign of a bleed and that the medical team was ready to slowly wake him up.

I was a med student. I knew the medications the neuro team had used. I knew the side effects, I knew that there might have been a risk for this.

But still— I wasn’t a doctor here, I wasn’t an observer, I was the girlfriend. I was the battered party’s ‘family’, I was part of the group that doctors usually hid the worst news from.

I had been glued to Jamie’s bedside for the past two days. I had showered in the locker rooms at the hospital, slept in 20 minute increments between shift changes with the nurses.

The logical, science based mind I had knew this could have happened— that it should be expected.

After 6 hours off the drip, and 4 hours after they removed the tape, his eyes slowly fluttered open. His eyes darted around the room, confusion and a hint of heartbreak in his eyes.

“Jamie, it’s me, Claire. You are alright. We will be alright.” I said, grasping his face between my hands gently.

“Claire…Claire who?” He asked, the question evident on his face. “Jenny.. Where is my sister?”

Shocked- I released his face from my hands, taking a step back from the side of his bed.

The medical wheels in my brain started to spin. Ativan. Head Trauma. Major trauma over 85% of patients back. Medically induced coma till brain swelling goes down, classic choice. An a-typical-clincal case for short term memory loss. Amnesia likely to possible. It was quite literally a textbook description of mine come to life.

_Amnesia, Jamie was having amnesia. Bloody Scot._

This threw me straight into _‘Dr. Beauchamp’_ mode.

“I’m Dr. Beauchamp. Your sister Jenny is just getting some coffee in the cafeteria. She will be up in a few minutes.” I said going into full doctor mode. I could feel the tears welling up inside me, but I had to hold it together, at least until Jenny came back. “Mr. Fraser, do you know what day it is?”

“Aye.” He croaked, his throat dry and voice raspy. “February 21.”

_February 21. Two days before I had met him at his bar. He had forgotten two whole weeks._

The entire time we had spent together. Gone. Like dust off a dirt road- faded into the abyss of nothing. It was now March 7th.

I stared wordlessly at Jamie then looked down at my appearance. I was in jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. I didn’t look like any sort of doctor at the moment so that questioning and confused face on Jamie made all the more sense.

“I uh…. Was just coming in and my co-worker, Dr. Shepherd is your doctor… I heard you had woken up as I was on my way in. I just wanted to stop and check on you before I changed into my scrubs.” I said, pretending to grab his chart at the foot of his bed.

“What happened? Why am I here?” Jamie asked as he tried to sit up but stopped just as he tried to pick his shoulders up. “Iffrin! My back.”

Helpless, I just shrugged my shoulders and closed the chart.

It was information I had memorized. 

_James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. DOB: May 1st 1990. Blood type: O+._

“Mr. Fraser… You need your rest. A nurse will be coming in shortly to get you some more meds to help with the pain. Dr. Shepherd will be coming in to check on you and explain everything. I will go find your sister.”

Jamie nodded at me, and rested his head gingerly against the back of the bed. I gave him a soft smile and quickly exited the room.

Once I was out of his room, I pressed my back into the wall, my hands covered my face, and I sank to the floor.

Every ounce of any strength I had left was gone.

_________

I sat like that on the floor, crying, my entire body going cold — for an amount of time I did not know. I felt a small, unfamiliar hand, place itself atop my head.

“Claire.” Jenny whispered, setting herself on the floor behind me. “Maybe ye should go home, get a shower and sleep in a real bed.”

I looked up at her my eyes blood shot and face blotted with red patches. “He woke up, and didn’t remember who I was. He thinks it is February 21.”

“Weel, he did ha’ a bad accident… I ken it must be usual to have some sort o’ memory loss? Surely ye do as well?” Jenny said. I knew she was trying to comfort me and I had to let out a small laugh.

Why in the hell should she be comforting me right now— I should be the one comforting her.

She smiled at me and took her thumb wiping a small tear as it fell. “Ye ken that is usual because yer a doctor. But Claire, it is different when ye love someone. All rational thought goes out the window. I ken it is hard to see him like this. What the two of ye have is something verra special and it almost was ruined before it even had a chance to flourish.”

I nodded wiping my face and giving her my best attempt at a smile.

“You must think I’m crazy, he’s crazy. We’ve known each other only two weeks.” I half laughed as I shrugged my shoulders.

Jenny rose to her feet reaching out a hand to help me up.

“My da always said that when ye ken, ye ken and they’ll be no’ a question in yer mind about it. I have found that to be true.” She smiled as I took her hand and helped myself up. “Now, come on, we’re gonna go back in there and slap some sense into my brother.”

“I uh… Okay. I’m going to wait outside the door for a minute, let him get comfortable with you and the fact that it’s been two weeks… But I won’t go anywhere.”

Jenny chuckled at that, and shook her head at me. “Aye, that sounds reasonable. But if ye run off, I will slap ye silly and give ye a good ol’ Fraser talking to- right after I give one to my brother.”

_________

Jenny walked into his room and I hovered right outside the door. I watched as she put her hands on her hip and stood at the end of his bed.

“James Fraser. Ye scared away the only lass ye ever had the bullocks to tell me about.” She started. I could hear the ferocity in her voice.

“Don’t James me, Janet… I am no’ in a mood.” Jamie cracked back, the hoarseness apparent in his voice.

Jenny continued on. Hell hath no fury like a Fraser scorned, apparently. Jenny Murray was a tiny and petite woman, but she was ferocious and quiet intimidating.

“Almost dying didna do a damn thing for ye, still, not a damn day wiser. What am I gonna do wi’ ye, brother”

Jamie let out a small smile at that. “I… Yer making my head hurt more if that is at all possible.”

“Well good. Serves ye right.” Jenny said as she aimlessly shook her head at him and sat at the foot of his bed. “Dinna be doin’ this again, ye hear?”

“Ye said, I told ye about a lass…..Claire.” He said breathlessly. I watched as Jamie’s eyes lit up a bit brighter. I could sense that his amnesia fog was starting to dissipate and he was piecing the time back together.

“Aye, Claire. She hasna left yer side in days, brother. Ye woke up and dinna remember.” She said softly as she placed a hand on his leg.

“I… She was… In here earlier. Och, I am a bastard. How could I forget her?” He said with distress in his voice.”She’s. sae beauitifu-”

I leaned my exhausted body against the doorframe and placed a gentle knock on the wood. “Ahem.” I said sheepishly.

Jenny turned her body and smiled at me. “I think… I am going to go call Ian, and tell him that yer awake. And give the two of ye some privacy.”

“Claire.” Jamie moaned. “Sorcha.”

“That’s a new one.” I said as Jenny snuck past me and out the room. “I know what ‘sassenach’ means but I’ve never heard that one.”

He smiled at me and I placed myself at the end of the bed where Jenny had been sitting.

“It means light…. Ye were there. In my head, when I was… Wherever I was. Ye were the light, calling me home.” He uttered.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes again.

“Claire….. I…… I love ye. I have loved ye since ye walked into the bar the first night and were sae exhausted and ye ordered a whisky. I kent it from the moment I first spoke to ye. And I am sorry…. Sorry I sca—“ He started and was getting emotional himself. I saw his eyes fill with a light film of tears.

“Hush…” I whispered, scooting myself up a bit up the bed, careful as to not hurt his bruised and battered body. “Don’t say another word.”

I kissed his cracked and dry lips softly, cupping his scruffy jaw in my hand.

He smelled like oak and musk with small hints of blood and iodine. Yet still, he smelled and tasted like Jamie, like home.

Leaving him breathless, I pulled my face a few inches back. By the look in his eyes I knew I didn’t have to say it back, he already knew.

_We’re going to be alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading!


	11. Plastics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie gets a visit from the plastic surgeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannnnd..... Here's the next installment.

It was a whirlwind of the next two hours. The nurses came in, checking his vitals and insisting to help in any way that was possible. 

Two nurses who worked on the ICU floor, which I did not get along with, had decided to stop in and make a visit. 

“Dr. Beauchamp is your friend okay?” Nurse Kinsey had asked. 

I scooted the chair closer to Jamie’s bed taking my hand into his and interacting our fingers while gingerly running my other hand down the lines of his cheeks. 

“Ah, yes, Nurse Kinsey, my boyfriend and I are just fine, thank you.”

She had turned on her heel leaving, a look of disgust across her face. 

“Ye scare half the nurses here, why would that be Sassenach?” Jamie asked, his throat still dry. I let out a small laugh as I reached across him for his cup of water. 

“Take a sip, now, slowly.” I ordered. Jamie nodded, reaching forward just a bit and put his cracked lips on the straw but his eyes on mine. “I think it’s a complex with them, they don’t like taking orders from a female doctor. Especially one who likes trauma like I do. That’s all it is.” 

I could see the smile behind his eyes as he cocked his head gently to the side and raised one eyebrow at me.

“And she was eyeing you like you were a finely aged Scottish whisky.” I said dryly as I looked down at him and furrowed my eyebrows at him. “You are a fine Scottish whisky, but you are _my bloody Scot._ ” I heard Jamie laugh at me. “You asked.” I said, shrugging my shoulders placing the cup back on his bedside table. 

“How do you feel?” I sat back in the chair, placing my feet on the bed. 

“Weel, I feel as if I was hit by a truck.” Jamie croaked. “I dinna ken where it hurts and where it doesna. Ye look tired, Sassenach. How do ye feel?” 

“You were actually hit by a locomotive and you’re asking me how I feel? You bloody Scot.” I laughed heartily. 

“Ye look as though ye havena slept in days and it’s o’ my fault. How long have ye slept since Thursday?” 

“Eh, give or take an hour or so…. If I had my best guess.” I smiled as I poked his hand with my foot. 

“Claire, ye have to take care of yerself…. I dinna want ye to whither away on me.” Jamie said sternly, slowly rotating his head towards me. 

“Jamie—“ I started, but was stopped by a small knock on the door. 

“Excuse me… I heard you had woken up Mr. Fraser. My name is Dr. Flannery, I am the plastic surgeon who took care of you when you came in the other evening. I was wondering if you were comfortable enough that we could talk.” Dr. Flannery said a smile pursed between his mouth. “Dr. Beauchamp.” He nodded at me. 

“I feel as good as I am gonna be for the time bein’ I suppose.” 

Dr. Flannery stood at the end of the bed, taking his chart into his hands. “Your pain level?”

“Isna so bad, I ache a bit all o’er, but I can move my fingers and my toes so that’s all that matters I suppose.” 

The doctor laughed at this and read a bit over the chart. “Well, I am pleased with the meds that they gave you to help control the pain. If it gets worse, just press the nurses button and they can give you more.” 

“Aye.” 

“But, Mr. Fraser, I want to talk to you about your back…. I assume it’s been hard to move since you woke up, and I’m not sure what Dr. Shepherd has told you.”

“All he told me was I had some trauma to my back and that I was going to be sore for a while…. That ye would the one to tell me.” 

“Of course he would.” Dr. Flannery said shaking his head. “We went to med school together and were each other’s best man’s in our weddings…He always leaves the bad news for me when he can.” 

“You know, when a neurosurgeon saves the bad news for a plastic surgeon, you should really count your blessings Jamie Fraser.” I muttered taking my feet off the bed and sitting up. 

This earned a laugh from both of them. 

“Dr. Beauchamp, you are correct, if you don’t mind me asking, since you’re not working…” Dr. Flannery started.

“Claire is my girlfriend. Ye can say whatever ye’d like in front of her.” Jamie said, proudly. I couldn’t help but smile myself at his declaration. 

_Finally we had some terminology to whatever it was between us._

The doctor nodded and pursed his lips while he crossed his arms. “Mr. Fraser… As you know, you were thrown through a window. When you came in…. You had a substantial amount of glass shards in your back. Most of the pieces were superficial and didn’t harm any nerves or the spinal cord which is great news. There were a few other pieces that were deeper than what I would call superficial, but still they didn’t do any damage structurally to you.” 

Jamie nodded, taking a small breath. “Structurally ye said… but appearance wise….”

“Yes. There was damage to about roughly 85% of the skin on your back. When you first came in, the number one priority was removing the glass and making sure your spine was okay. Once that was done, we needed to check for deeper pieces and to stop the bleeding. We were able to do both successfully. You have a lot of stitches in your back… I’m sure you’ll start to feel it more in a few hours.”

“I can sense there is a “but”-…” Jamie said dryly.

“You can read people like a book, Mr. Fraser. Yes. Because there was so much damage, I couldn’t do a proper skin graph. I won’t really know a proper plan until after the stitches come out and we take a better look at what damage there actually is. So, I’m going to warn you… And you, Dr. Beauchamp since you will be taking over care once he is discharged…. It might look very scary. When it comes time to discharge you, we will set up an appointment to get the stitches removed and have me take a look. From there we will figure out what the best course of action is at possibly correcting it. But, you were very lucky. I am sorry you were hurt… I am just glad that there is more superficial damage than something worse.” 

“I thank ye, kindly. Dr. Flannery.” Jamie said. “A few scars willna hurt me, plus I have my own personal doctor for a sponge bath, aye?” 

Dr. Flannery chuckled, closing the chart and placing it back on the end of the bed. “You have a great sense of humor for someone who just had a massive accident. I wish all my patients were this jovial when they woke up from anesthesia!” 

“So long as I live to love the lass another day, there’s no reason not to be happy.” Jamie grinned as he placed his hand atop mine. 

“Well, I won’t admit this to just anyone, but Dr. Beauchamp is one of the best medical students we have at the hospital. A favorite of both mine and Dr. Shepherd’s. You are in good hands.” Dr. Flannery said, nodding as his phone went off. “Well, duty calls. If you need anything….Dr. Beauchamp has my nurse manager’s number. Call that if you need something. Otherwise, once Shep decides it is good for you to go home, I’ll sign off as well.”

“Thank ye, Dr. Flannery.” Jamie said as another knock was heard at the door. Jenny appeared, a small smile on her face as she snuck into the room. 

Dr. Flannery left the room and Jenny stood on the other side of the bed. 

“Ian is verra glad yer no’ dead. He said he is gonna scalp ye himself, if he gets the chance. Young Jamie said he loves ye, too.” Jenny said, kissing her brother’s forehead. “It seems the two of ye are on some solid ground then?” 

Jamie looked at me and then looked at Jenny. “Aye, I think we are.” 

I squeezed his hand in mine. “Yes, we are.” 

“Good. I like this lass, Jamie. She is a sassenach after all, but ye did right. Much better than Laoghaire.” Jenny said with a quiet snort. 

“Laoghaire?” I teased.

“Och. No one. A lass a few years younger than us in school, always had an eye for my brother but the favor was never much returned. Jamie rarely ever brought a lass home, or ever really talked about one… Until ye, Claire.” 

“Well I am honored.” 

“As ye should be. Listen, Jamie…. Now that I ken yer no dyin’ and yer in verra comprable hands…. I dinna think that I can stay much longer…. Ian needs some relief from wee Jamie.” 

“Ye should go home, Jenny. Thank ye for coming to make sure that ye I am no’ dead.” Jamie laughed heartily from his bed. I could see the pain in his eyes as his back moved a little more than it probably should have. 

“Well… Listen…. I want ye to come home to Lallybroch. When ye are discharged, the two of ye can stay at least a week….. Relax. I think the two of ye need it.” Jenny said as she squeezed Jamie’s hand. “Claire, our home is yer home.” 

“In my medical opinion, he could be discharged as early as tomorrow night, and as it stands, I just took all my midterms and have no classes….. I am sure with the circumstances I can get my shifts covered here for the rest of the week…” I said making a mental note to text Joe. “I think that a visit to Lallybroch is exactly what the two of us need.” 

“Tis set, then.” Jenny smiled, walking over to the side of the bed where I was sitting. I stood and she embraced me in a hug. “Ian canna wait to meet ye, Claire.” 

“The feeling is mutual!” I said, hugging her back. 

Jenny kissed Jamie’s forehead once more, before leaving us. 

I followed Jenny out, closing the door to Jamie’s room, allowing us as much privacy as a hospital would allow. 

Jamie watched me walk back and sit in the chair, a large smile on his face. 

“What are you scheming up, Fraser?” I questioned. 

Jamie patted the bed next to him. He was a large man, taking up most of the bed, and I shook my head at him, rolling my eyes. 

“In your dreams.” I stammered. He looked at me, his blue eyes giving their best puppy dog impression. “No.” 

“Sassenach.” Jamie pleaded, patting the bed again, this time with a firmer hand. 

“It will hurt your back!” I said, more loudly than I should. 

Jamie looked at me then half shrugged his shoulders- as much as he could with his injured back. 

Whether it was the exhaustion, the need to feel his heartbeat against my own skin, to be held and reassured everything was going to be OK- or a combination of all three. I rolled my eyes, sliding my shoes off, and climbing into the bed next to him.

Jamie scooted over just a bit to his left, enough for me to place my frame next to his. I rested my head on his chest, feeling the movement of his chest — up and down, in and out, his lungs strong. His lungs alive and well. 

I fell asleep, listening to the pitter-patter of his heart— music to my ears, and sleeping soundly.


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire takes Jamie home to recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry this has been a long time coming. For those of you who don't have tumblr and do not know, I had a fairly unplanned wrist surgery and have been recovering for about ten days. This is definitely, a long time coming, and I am sorry I didn't have the speediness with this chapter. BUT ALAS, IT'S HERE!

I slept that night the soundest I had in weeks — although the nurses had come in every 3 hours to check on Jamie and his pain, I slept through it all.

I woke to Jamie’s large hand as he pushed a curl behind my ear. Coming to my senses slowly, I placed my hand over his, getting tangled in an array of IV tubes.

“Och, Sassenach, ye dinna want to move too much to yer right, or ye’ll pull the tube outta my hand! Here, let me help ye.” Jamie chuckled as I felt his hand grab mine and moved some of the tubes around.

“Ye slept like a rock last night.”

“Well when your boyfriend decides to almost go and die on you and then stay in a coma for a few days…..One will lose a lot of sleep.” I spoke softly as I turned my head up towards the monitor. “Good news, your O2 levels and heart rate are steady.”

“Claire.” Jamie said as he used his hand to turn my face towards him. “Ye dinna have to be in doctor mode, ye ken? Ye can just be Claire…. I’m no’ goin’ anywhere.”

I looked down towards his hands slowly, assessing the ports and paper tape, as I scanned down his stomach — his hospital gown half open showing a slope of hard muscle and smooth skin, half covering him, as I noted the gauze pads and ace bandages covering his back. 

“Jamie.” I said as the emotion caught the best of me, “I…. Everyone I have ever loved has always left me and you were very close to doing the same as well.” I carefully tilted my head back up towards his once more.

“I promise ye, you will never be alone, again.” Jamie said firmly as a small cough interrupted us at the end of the bed.

“Sorry to interrupt the two of you.” Joe said as he gave me a daring glance, a smirk on his faces and his eyebrows furrowed together. “But, I have good news.”

Jamie nodded as I slid off the bed and walked over to Joe, throwing my arms around him in a rib-crushing hug. “Joe! It’s so good to see you.”

“It is nice to see that you have gotten some sleep, finally.” Joe said as he kissed my cheek. “It looks like Jamie is going to be able to discharged around noon. A nurse practitioner from plastics is going to come down and show you how to change the bandages and handle his medications… I told them his girlfriend is a doctor, but it’s just protocol.”

My pulse quickened as I heard my new title – hearing it from Jamie’s sister was one thing, as the experience of the past few days had bonded us in some fashion, but hearing the term from someone who was as close to family as I had was something else. I crossed my arms across my chest and looked back at Jamie as I flashed him a wide smile, and turned my face back to Joe as he was nodding his head in approval.

“Aye, I ken. Nay bother.”

“Then, you all will be free to go.” Joe said as he placed his hand on Jamie’s foot, giving him a big smile. “I am glad for our lady’s sake, you didn’t die.”

“Me too.” Jamie responded as he blushed lightly. Joe turned his attention back towards me.

“And you, Lady Jane, since midterms are over and we have your shifts covered for the next two weeks… You are going to be this gentleman’s personal doctor and get some recovery yourself…. Understood?”

I shook my head as Joe signed off on Jamie’s chart and left us.

“Well, Fraser, I think it’s time we worked on getting you home.” I quipped as I grasped his face in between my hands and kissed him thoroughly.

_________________

Getting Jamie discharged and home was easier said than done. Due to all the bandages on his back, he needed three blankets to cover the seat to even allow him to be comfy enough for the 2 hour car ride.

Two hours was not all that long, but for a 6’5” Scottish Highlander and the small back seat of my Range Rover, it was quite a task.

Seeing as Jenny had left us the night before, it took us almost 4 hours to drive from Edinburgh through the Highlands to Jamie’s childhood home — Lallybroch. While I was able to handle the drive on my own, I had convinced Jamie to pop an extra pain pill just for the drive home, to make it as manageable as could be.

Had Jenny stayed and driven back with us an extra set of hands to help keep him comfortable in the back seat would have been appreciated, but we made it work—even if I had to stop three times to adjust his body a few times.

Oh the things you do for love, or so I could hear Joe saying in the back of my head.

I looked in the rearview as the GPS guided me to ‘Take the next left’ and ‘The destination will be on your right’ and saw a small smile on Jamie’s still medicine induced face.

A stone archway greeted me as a large stone house with matching bricks filled my point of view.

“Well you come from humble beginnings.” I muttered as I pulled my car next to the truck.

“My father built this place. His blood and sweat are in this very stone. He and my mother… Well, my grandsire didna want them to get married, so they ran off, and built Lallyrboch.” Jamie said. I turned in my seat and reached in the back and unfastened his seatbelt.

“I was just giving you a hard time — it’s beautiful, the three minutes I have seen of it. Seems like the kind of place that every child dreams of growing up… Where your mom calls you in for dinner and you’re way up in the hills and you come running back but your plate is cold.”

Jamie reached up and touched my cheek, gingerly, running his finger along the lines of my cheek.

“Aye. And I’d be covered in dirt and grime with my Da trailing right behind me, a big smile on my face. She’d hose me down before I could even go in the house.” I briefly turned my face to the palm of his hand and gave it a kiss. “I am verra glad yer here, Claire.”

“I won’t lie, I wish it were under different circumstances, but alas, there’s nowhere else I would rather be.”

_________________

“She looked at me and said _‘Fine, we will be married on St. Martin’s Day.’_ I tried to tell her how we couldna do such a thing, but then I found myself standing at the alter saying I do.” Ian said as he pushed his plate in front of him.

Ian Murray was nothing like I had pictured him to be — tall and well built, but smaller than Jamie. He too, had eyes as blue as the ocean, but strikingly blonde hair and an extremely laid back personality, compared to that of his married half, an undeniable Fraser.

“Aye, and ye havena looked back since… Have ye?” Jenny said as she wiped the tears from laughter off her face and grasped for his hand.

I sat the napkin on my plate, and pushed it forward, wiping my own happy tears off my face. I looked over to Jamie who was finishing his meal slowly— too stubborn to ask for help.

“Jamie… Let the lass help ye eat. She’s already seen ye nearly dead, the least she can do is spoon feed ye.” Ian said as he stood up, gathering all the dirty plates.

“Aye.” Jamie grumbled. My hand rested on his thigh, and I gave it a small squeeze as I took the utensils from his hands, knowing just what he wanted me to help him with.

Jenny grabbed wee Jamie from his booster seat and excused herself. “This wee one needs a bath and to go to bed. Ian will be in the kitchen shall ye need anything. Jamie can show ye where his old room is. The sheets are clean, I put three extra pillows on the bed and the towels in the attached bathroom are for the both of ye as well. I will see ye both tomorrow morning.”

Young Jamie squawked as Jenny tried to get a tighter grasp on her toddler as she reached the bottom of the stairs. 

“Claire…” Jamie said as he pushed my hand out of his face and made eye contact. “Ye dinna have to say yes, I can…. Probably figure it out myself, but I was wondering…. If ye would help be scrub off all the hospital, when we are finished eating. And then go to bed with me.”

“You do know, that you cannot get wet, correct?” I said as I shoved his mouth full of food. I watched his cheeks as they flushed a bright shade of red and he shook his head giving me the confirmation I needed. “So you do understand, that this means, a sponge bath?” I grinned from ear to ear—the idea of my hands on his bare skin sent a flush of heat to my face as I grinned from ear to ear.

Jamie nodded once more, as I heard Ian’s light footsteps behind us, as he was making his way up the stairs. “Jamie Fraser, if ye dinna marry the lass who offers to give ye a sponge bath… Then ye have something wrong with ye!”

“I plan on it, Murray.” Jamie grinned from his chair as turned just enough to face Ian.

“Good. I like her, too. She may be a sassenach after all, but she fits in verra well around here.” Ian finished as he disappeared upstairs.

My eyes flickered as they looked over the plate and I filled another forkful of food for Jamie. I looked up at him, raising my eyebrows signaling if he wanted another bite. He nodded as I filled his mouth once more, neither one of us commenting on the statement he had just admitted.

My heart fluttered at it though, because while I had only been here at Lallybroch for a mere 5 hours, it felt like I belonged.

We sat in a comfortable silence then, as I finished feeding Jamie the last few bites of his food. I heard the soft hum of Jenny as she sang a nursery rhyme to wee Jamie, and the laundry machine going as Ian must have switched over a load.

As Jamie chewed his last bite, he leaned his head against the back of his chair, closing his eyes, listening to the sounds the old house made. The creaks in the floorboard as Jenny and Ian followed a toddler around upstairs. The gentle hum of the dishwasher in the kitchen— I could hear the low mum of the AC as it fluttered through the house. The house had a peculiar aroma to it too, something along the lines of fresh baked cookies, cinnamon, and lavender.

I took the napkin off my lap, wiping Jamie’s five o’clock shadow. Good god, he needed a shave.

He smiled as he felt the fabric touch his skin, but didn’t open his eyes.

His hand found mine, as I set the napkin on the table and he opened his eyes, looking right at me.

“With the bar, and the restaurant, I havena been back here in months…. It hasna really felt like home since my parents died…. But havin’ ye here, Sassenach, it feels more like home than it has in a long time Thank ye, Claire. For giving this feeling back to me.”

My heart stopped for a minute as my brain registered the words that had just come out his mouth. I pulled his hand up to my lips, and kissed his callous and bruised knuckles.

“You’re welcome.” I said as I kissed his knuckles once more and running his knuckles along my lips, my breath warm on his hands. “But you do smell like a sterile hospital room! Why don’t we go get you a bath and a bed, Fraser.”

I stood up, slowly, giving him my hands and helping him slowly up to a standing position. I looked up, to see Ian leaning over the balcony, eyes on Jamie and me, taking in the intimate moment he had just caught us in. He gave me a small nod of affirmation, as Jamie continued to help himself stand upright.

I smiled up at him nodding back — my affirmation that yes, I love your best friend, and wasn’t going to hurt him, I was in it for the long haul.

Ian walked off back into a room and I felt Jamie’s hands on my shoulders.

“Lead me, Sassenach. Up the stairs, slowly. Last door on the left.”

I placed my hands on top of his and as we started our slow journey towards his bedroom.

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face because for the first time in my 26 years, my orphan heart finally felt like it had found a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading. I will be updating this again, hopefully, soon!


	13. Home Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sponge bath, anyone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all give a round of applause to Kristin, (kkruml here on AO3) for her amazing beta skills. And continually putting up with me. Also BEST READ with Closing Time playing in the background.

I felt a small splash of water hit my white blouse as I grinned and looked down.

“Jamie.” I cackled as I took the sponge and wiped it across his chest. I could feel his breath warm on my chest as his fingers unfastened another button of my top. “Sex fiend.”

“Sassenach.” Jamie said as his hand reached up slowly, his finger gently caressing my chest. “I canna wipe my own arse or take a shower by myself like a man. I have a personal doctor at the moment and I see ye standing there. Hair loose, smelling like lavender, yer breasts grazing my chest as ye clean me… I canna help but want ye, and I canna have ye. Let me just… have this.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I took the sponge and rinse it in the sink, reaching for his razor. I felt his cold hand, an unusual touch for him as he was usually so warm, as he pushed my blouse open and cupped my breast.

“Jamie. This is not going to get that five o’clock shadow off your face.”

“Yer breasts, are like ivory, Sassenach. I could stare at them forever.”

“I know you can, mister. Now, sit still alright, or I’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

I laughed as he let out a small grunt and took his hand from inside my shirt. “That’s a good lad.”

We were quiet for the next few minutes as I shaved his face with a surgeon’s delicate touch and precision, leaving no cuts on his strong jaw line. My phone was on the shelf above the toilet, the soft tunes from my pandora app playing in the distance.

I shaved the last piece of his extra long beard off and tossed the razor into the sink. I reached for the washcloth but felt Jamie’s hand grab mine, intertwining our fingers as he pulled my fingers to his mouth, tracing my knuckles softly with his dry and chapped lips.

“Sassenach, do ye hear the song that’s playing?”

I dropped the washcloth on the edge of the sink as I tilted my head towards the shelf actually paying attention to the sounds coming from the speaker.

_‘closing time , time for you to go back to the places you will be from’_

“Ah, Semi Sonic. A classic. I did this song one too many times drunk at the bar karaoke during my undergrad years.” I laughed at the memory.

“Does it remind ye of anything else?” Jamie said as he grabbed my elbow and pulled him to his lap.

“JAMIE!” I gasped as i was placed firmly on his thighs, “I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Ye won’t…. But, the song, think Claire…”

“It’s a classic song, but I don’t get what you’re saying…” I said honestly as I pushed some his damp curls out of his face.

“Ye are an educated lass for sure, but a bit dense in that smart head o’ yers.” Jamie croaked as he rested his head on my chest. “Ye walked into my bar at closing time on that Friday night. The song makes me think of ye, of us.”

“You’re right.” I whispered as I used my index finger and tilted his head up to mine, nuzzling our noses together recalling the night I had been so exhausted and walked into his bar – unknowingly changing my life, forever. 

“Aye, ye looked so bonny. Those green scrubs, yer hair a bird’s nest on top o’ yer head. And ye starin’ at the whisky. I kent it then, ye were a lass who knew her whisky and that ye were a lass that was goin’ give me a run for my money.”

“I went home that night, and was in the best mood I had been in in weeks. Joe knew it straight from the beginning.”

“He’s a smart man.”

“He is. One day we’ll all have to get together outside of a hospital. His wife and Gail are as much as family as I have these days…” I said as a yawn escaped my mouth. “Come on, Jamie, let’s get those bandages changed, a pain killer in you, and settled for the night. I think we could both use a goodnight’s sleep.”

“Aye.”

I stood up, turning to face him giving him my hands helping him up.

_______________________

After having thoroughly cleansing all hospital smells off of Jamie, changing his bandages, and getting him settled into bed, it was my turn to get myself situated.

I walked over to the bench, opening my duffel and grabbing my favorite silk pajamas and toiletry bag. I could feel Jamie’s eyes on me as I slowly shuffled through the room and I blushed, sheepishly turning to look at him.

Truth be told– we were still fairly new to each other. We had already bared our souls to one another and already been through quite an ordeal, but we hadn’t really shared any domestic life yet. I didn’t know Jamie Fraser of Lallybroch. I knew Jamie Fraser the bartender, and I knew Jamie Fraser restaurant owner- this Jamie, was new to me. I didn’t know if he put the toilet seat down after he flushed, did he leave the cap off the toothpaste, or if he liked aftershave or cologne. There was still so much to be learned about the other- to discover who we were, _together._

I gave him a small smirk as I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door almost all the way closed. I hastily changed into my pajamas, washed my face, and attempted to brush my hair.

I walked back into the bedroom, sheepishly, as I saw Jamie staring right at me. I could see him twiddling his thumbs on his thigh, deep in thought, as he scanned me up and down. I could feel the uneasiness radiating from me as I felt a shiver run through me. Both of us unsure of what to say to the other.

“If, ye’d rather some privacy…. There is a guest bedroom at the end of the halll….” Jamie said, as he let out his breath. “I know, things…. Are stil verra new for us, I dinna want ye to feel rush or pressured, about anything.”

I laughed as I crossed my arms, standing by his feet at the end of the bed. “Oh thank god.”

“What’s so funny Sassenach?”

“I was just thinking that…. The fact we don’t really know each other yet. I don’t even know what side of the bed you like to sleep on and here I went and put you on the left because I like the right. And I don’t even know if you were comfortable changing in front of me….”

“Claire.” Jamie started as he shook his head. “Yer right. There is a lot we dinna ken about each other yet, but ye’ve already seen me naked twice now and almost dead.”

“Do you want me to go?”

Jamie’s smile dropped as a serious look overcame his face. “No, I dinna want ye to go. I want ye to stay, if that is what ye want.”

I nodded, walking to the empty side of the bed, and pulling the sheets down and sliding him next to him. “I have to be careful…. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ye won’t…. And I can hear all the thoughts comin’ out of yer head… Dinna fash, Sassenach. We have all the time in the world to learn the small things about each other. As long as ye dinna go anywhere.”

I reached over, turning the lamp off, turning on my side to face Jamie. It was dark, but I could see the outline of his large body in the darkness, his hand large and present in mine. We were silent for a few minutes, until I heard the low hum of his breaths and I knew he was asleep.

I scooted myself a few inches closer to him, enveloping both my arms around his one arm, resting my head on his bicep as I succumbed to slumber myself.

_Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank YOU for reading!


	14. Brekky

I awoke to the small shuffle of tiny feet against the dark hardwood floors. I turned on my side, to see the bedroom door slightly ajar, and no traces of a person, until I felt the small clammy hands pull at the fitted sheet of the bed. I quickly glanced at my phone, 5:43AM. 

“Unca Jawmie!” said a soft voice. As I looked down, I saw young Jamie attempting to climb into our bed. 

I put my finger to my mouth giving him a soft, ‘Shhhh’. He smiled at me, reaching his hands up to me. I sat up and quietly got out of bed as I scooped the toddler into my arms. Surprisingly, he took to me quite well and settled comfortably in my embrace as he rested his small head in the crook of my neck. I could use one of these one day.

I walked over and put my slippers on as I left Jamie’s bedroom and shut the door. 

“Aunnnnite Cawaire, wot about unca jawmie?” Young Jamie asked as I reached the top of the stairs.

_My heart stopped—Auntie Claire?_

“Uncle Jamie had an accident and is still sleeping. He needs time to heal. Is your mom still sleeping?”

“Uh huh.” 

“Well, why don’t we go downstairs and see what we can make for breakfast for everybody? Want to help me cook?” 

“Yeah!” The toddler said with massive enthusiasm as we made our way to the kitchen.

_______________

“Now, you crack the egg very gently, and then we put it into the bowl and mix!” I said as I helped Jamie crack the egg and put the yolk into the mixing bowl with the other contents. “And that is how you make pancakes!”

“Pannnacaka!” He squealed as he took the whisk and mixed the pancake batter. 

“Yes, pancakes. Now that we have the bacon done, all we need to do is cook these and breakfast will be ready!”

I didn’t hear him as he walked in, but as I turned I saw the flash of plaid pajamas in the corner of my eye. 

“What is going on in here?” Ian said as he leaned against the doorframe into the kitchen. “Did the rascal come and get ye up this morning, Jamie ye know yer not supposed ta be out of yer bed until mam or da comes to get ye!” 

“But Unca Jawmie!” 

“I ken, but we talked about it, Uncle Jamie had an accident.” 

Young Jamie pouted his bottom lip as he turned his head into my chest. 

“He came in looking for his Uncle, but I caught him. I was already up I figured I could let the house sleep a bit longer and make everyone some breakfast.” 

“I see that.”

“I’m sorry if I over stepped some boundaries… I just –“ 

“Dinna fash yerself, lass. Jenny is just getting up and Jamie hasna stirred. I only feel bad the lad of mine woke ye up.” 

“It’s quite alright, we’ve had a lovely time together. Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes…” 

“Och! There ye are ye wee fool… Oh my, Claire!” Jenny said as she entered the kitchen herself. “Tell me ye dinna cook us all breakfast.” 

I blushed as I flipped over a pancake. 

“Aye, she did, Jenny. Why don’t ye take the wean out of here and I’ll help Claire finish up and we can eat.” 

“Aye. Come to yer mam, Jamie, let’s leave yer Auntie and Da to finish up in here, let’s go get the table set.” Jenny said as she smiled at me, picking her child off the counter and leaving the kitchen. 

I blushed a bright red as I was referred to as ‘auntie’ again. Jenny hadn’t noticed, but I could feel Ian’s eyes on me as he gently elbowed me in the ribs. 

“Ye didna ken but dating Jamie means ye get a clan behind ye too, yer an auntie now. Get used to it.” 

I smiled at him shaking my head as I finished the pancakes. Truth was, it had just been me most of my life. I had never pictured a husband and kids in my future—but with Jamie I had been thinking of it, found myself wanting it. I never pictured the idea of being an _‘auntie’_ to his family, but the idea made my heart swell.

“I also want to say, Jenny, she willna say thank ye, but we havena slept past 6:30 in a long time. It was verra nice to get some alone time this morning, too.” Ian said as he grabbed the plate of bacon.

“Oh, you’re so welcome. I’m glad that you all had a nice morning with each other.” 

“Now that I have ye alone, I just want to say, Frasers are stubborn creatures. Trust me, I marrit one.” Ian laughed as he shot me a wistful wink. “There is no one in the world who will love ye more than one of them. Ye just need to be as stubborn back, and not afraid to put them in their place.” 

“I’m figuring as much.” 

“Yer a smart woman. I kent ye would, but take it from someone who’s also been well under the Fraser spell. Now, let’s go eat the food smells divine.”

_______________

“Thank ye for breakfast, Claire. ‘Twas truly heavenly.” Jenny smiled as she set her napkin on her plate and pushed her plate forward. “Even the bairn ate a full helping!”

I smiled as I took the past bite of my pancake and nodded at her. “It’s the least I can do, thank you for opening your home for me—and letting me help take care of Jamie.” 

“Och. An extra set of hands will help around here, plus the fool probably needs more round the clock care than I can truly give him. Speaking of Jamie,” She started as she fixed herself some food, “Ian and I can do the clean up, why don’t ye take him up a helping and get him situated for the morning. He’s probably up by now.” 

“Thank you.” I expressed with gratitude as I took the plate of food and silverware from her, making my way upstairs. 

I opened the door to his bedroom with more eagerness than I had anticipated. “Did you decide to join the land of the living yet?” 

As I looked towards the bed, I saw he was not only indeed awake but had sat himself up right and adjusted the pillows around him. 

“I was wondering where ye ran off too, Sassenach. Dinna tell me I snore and ye slept on the couch.” Jamie greeted me with a warm smile. 

“No, your nephew came in here, about ready to pounce on you. I saved you from that early morning wake up, and decided to make you breakfast. And bring it to you in bed…. But you,” I said as I cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow at him, “Do not get used to the idea of breakfast in bed.” 

“Aye,” He laughed as I set the plate of food on his lap and sat down next to him in the bed. “Ye dinna burn the pancakes, so at least ye can cook a bit.”

“I am no Gordon Ramsey, but I can for sure cook pancakes from a box.” 

“Then we shall have a feast.” 

He reached his arm across his chest slowly, as he rested his hand on my cheek. 

“Good morning, Sassenach.” Jamie breathed quietly as I turned my face into his hand. He smiled at me, watching me for a minute, before he brought my lips to his, kissing me softly. 

“Morning.” I mused. “Now, let’s get some food in you, check those bandages, and downstairs. I hear it’s supposed to be a beautiful day in the Highlands and I have a personal tour guide today!"

“Alright, Dr. Beauchamp.” Jamie laughed. I reached down, stealing the fork from his hand and feeding him a bite of pancakes. “We are gonna have a good day.” 

I smiled as I wiped a piece of syrup off the corner of his mouth. Beside him- I knew I was going to have a great day—today or for any day, no matter what trouble might await us.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire can sense Jamie is hiding something.

The next week progressed both slow and fast at the same time. By Saturday night, I could see Jenny’s methodical system of running Lallybroch. I, too, had been put to work here and there, aside from being Jamie’s personal care taker.

I had spent the day checking on Jamie every few hours, while helping Jenny get the garden ready for the spring planting. By the time I had come in for the evening, my nail beds were covered with dirt; I had tassel weeds in my hair and smelled pungently of herbs.

I wiped my hands on my jeans and meandered inside, to find Jamie in the study. While he had been on the road to a fast track recovery, he was still a bit too tender and weak to do manual labor around the house or land, so Ian had set him to balancing the books for the upcoming crops.

I wiped my hands on my jeans as I knocked on the door to the study.

“Aye?” A low voice grumbled as I heard the slam of a book onto the old oak desk.

“It’s me, Claire.” I said meekly, sensing his bad mood. “May I come in?”

“Och.” Jamie humphed as I opened the door and shuffled in, closing it behind me.

“If… You need some alone time to finish the books….” I started as I crossed by arms across my chest and leaned against the door.

I watched as he carefully sat back in the chair as the light illuminated his red hair. His eyebrows furrowed and he closed his eyes as he rested his head against the back of the old leather chair. For the first time in over a week since his accident, he truly looked unhappy and over tired. I knew him, or so I felt, like I knew the back of my hand. But as I studied the lines on his face, I realized I had no clue what he was thinking or where his mind was.

“A penny for your thoughts, Jamie?” I asked hesitantly. He let out a small breath and I started to close the distance between us. “Or, if you’d rather have some time to yourself, I can go take a shower before we get you situated for the night….”

“Claire.” He said promptly as he opened his eyes and met my glare. “Is yer life at all how ye thought it would turn out, say from when ye were a wee lass?”

I reached the desk and rounded the corner, just to the right of where he sat, and leaned my hips against the desk as I looked down to him. “In some ways, yes and in some ways no.” I pre-emptively started as I gave him an inquisitive look.

Jamie’s blue eyes met mine as his look gazed into mine, begging me to continue. “Okay, I’ll bite.”

I took a breath and jumped onto the edge of the desk, crossing my feet. “When my parents died…. I was in the car. I don’t remember much, I never have. All I remember was a spatter of red blood, and my mother softly saying ‘We love you Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp’ and then the paramedics pulling me from the car. I remember feeling so helpless that I couldn’t do a damn thing.”

“Were ye no’ but a lass then?”

“I was. Only six… But it was from that accident, I vowed to make a difference with my life. To be a healer and to save lives. It was then I knew what my calling was, and now here I am.”

“Here ye are.” He said, although his voice sounded hollow.

“But in some ways… It is also not how I thought my life would be. With Uncle Lamb, I traveled the world. I’ve told you some stories – summers in Italy, spending Christmas in Turkey, riding camels in the Sahara desert. I planned on Harvard Medical School, Massachusetts General Hospital for my residency. But then I met Frank, Uncle Lamb got sick… And I stayed in Scotland for reasons that weren’t for myself.” The words left my mouth before I realized the gravity of the words I had just said to him.

“So ye are saying ye dinna want to be in Scotland?” Jamie asked, and I could hear the edge in his voice.

_“I didn’t say that.”_ I said sternly as I got off the desk and put my hands on his shoulders and spun the chair towards me. “Do not put words in my mouth.”

“I am just repeating what ye said.”

I could feel the anger boiling in the pit of my stomach – the way it used to be when Frank and I would talk about my medical school applications. I clenched my fingernails into his shoulder and could feel his fragile skin breaking beneath my grasp.

_No, he was different. This was different._

“No. It is not what I had planned, Jamie Fraser. But like my parent’s accident, I have learned that life doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes you have to be flexible and carefree, taking challenges head on and figuring it out as you go.”

“And?”

“And…. I’m here, aren’t I? “

“Yes… You are.” He breathed heavily as he took my hands from his shoulders and held them in his hands.

“Yes. I am here. And I’m not going anywhere. There are a lot of things we have to figure out together, but I have faith… I know we will.”

He looked up and smiled as he took my hands and placed them over his heart.

I tipped my head down and kissed the base of his jaw gingerly. “You know I love you, right?”

“I do.” He smiled with a small nod, his voice sounding almost hollow. “I ken ye do, to the very marrow of my bones.”

“And just exactly how do you know that, Jamie?”

“I ken because yer here, Sassenach. I havena scared ye away yet, nor has my sister. Beauchamp genes must have a tolerance for Frasers.”

I laughed lightly as he moved his hands to the belt loops on my jeans and pulled me down onto his lap. “Don’t hurt yourself I weigh as much as an elephant.”

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. I am healed when I get to hold ye.” Jamie whispered with a small crack in his voice as he rested his head into my bosom. I could sense the urgent need to be close to me – to tether himself to the present, to his current reality. Something was bothering him—nagging at him, but I didn’t want to pry. He’d come to me in his own timing.

_Or so I’d hope._

I kissed the top of his head as I felt his tears stain my t-shirt. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure why he was crying – whether it was from being emotionally exhausted from recovering, stressed over his business in Edinburgh, or something else, I wasn’t entirely sure. But his hands dug into the back of my shirt, clenched into fists as his fingers locked onto the material, and he tightened his hold on me.

We sat like that for minutes or maybe an hour, I didn’t really know, nor did I care. All I knew was Jamie needed me, needed my touch, and that was the best thing I could offer him as I ran my fingers through his hair.

I could feel his thoughts churning in his head – something was feeding his doubts, something was tormenting him, something was haunting him – something he wasn’t telling me.

He’s not Frank. This is different. This is not going to blow up in my face. Jamie wouldn’t do that to you.

I heard the light vibration of his phone on the desk and turned my head to see the lock screen light up with a text.

_‘John Grey: We need to talk, Jamie. As soon as you can.’_

I closed my eyes and rested my head atop of his as the knots in my stomach tightened and made me nauseous. I had a feeling my world was about to implode and I had no clue how to protect him or myself.


	16. Return to Edinburgh

Our week at Lallybroch had been refreshing for lack of a better term.

It was my “spring break” for med school, after midterms- a week off, no classes, no rotations, no restaurant for Jamie to run. Just the two of us… That’s all there was.

No, it is not how I had planned to spend the week- taking care of an injured Jamie- but I loved the time that it allowed us to get to know one another.

Seeing Jamie in his ancestral home was something. Seeing him with his nephew and sister, I got visions of a future that I, too, could one day have.

But as he soundly slept beside me, my heart was racing, my stomach in knots. Who was this John Grey and what did he have to talk to my Jamie about?

I rolled over to face Jamie, running my hand along the outline of his jaw, softly as not to wake him, wondering how much more strength I had to carry the both of us.

_______________________

“So, Claire… What will it be like when ye both get back to the city?” Jenny asked as she passed me the croissants.

“Well…Jamie and I haven’t actually talked about it, but I have about 4 more weeks of classes and some important simulations—doctor/patient situations type things at the hospital So I am going to be extremely busy over the next few weeks before I leave for France.” I said- the words spilling out of my mouth faster than my brain could register. Jamie’s hand was on my leg and I could feel it squeeze as I dropped the news to his sister before him.

“France ye say?” He piqued – his Highland lilt strong on the word.

My throat was dry and I could feel my pulse becoming erratic. “I… Uh… Yes.”

“Oh! France.” Jenny beamed feeding small Jamie a piece of bread, as she caught Jamie’s confused look on his face. “Whatever for?”

I blushed knowing she could sense the tension, and felt Jamie’s hand leave my thigh and turned my attention back to Jenny. Jamie let out a small cough as if something were stuck in his throat. “There is a hospital there—that does internships of sorts, for doctors. You spend time with low-income individuals and essentially help with the clinic. It is great experience and very hands on. The program only accepts four medical students every summer.”

I heard Jamie grunt again, as Jenny bellowed in excitement. “Och, that seems like a verra good opportunity for ye!”

I took the last bit of my croissant and looked over to Jamie as he looked out the window his eyes a two hundred years away.

_______________________

_Edinburgh 25KM_

The sign in front of me read and I took a deep breath as I scooted a few feet further in the traffic. The entire two hours home he had been quiet, not said a word.

In reality, I hadn’t known what to say. 

I had applied for this internship before I had met him. I had gotten notice I had been accepted shortly after we had met- I had not planned on falling for him, let alone loving him.

I turned off the radio and turned my head to look at him. My face burning with emotion as I looked at him, eyes glaring. “Are you going to say anything?”

“Say what, Claire?” He responded- emotionless in his tone.

“I dunno…” I started, “Anything?”

“What is there to say? Ye are leaving me for France in a month and ye dinna feel the need to tell me.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the car behind me honked bringing me back to reality.

I opened my eyes and pulled forward a bit releasing my breath. There was an accident that had caused the traffic and I passed it carefully.

“Jamie… I….I swear. I was going to tell you. I had applied before I met you…” I stopped and fiddled with the volume even though the radio wasn’t on.

“And then with your accident… I just hadn’t found the proper time to tell you.” I said, honestly, as I turned my attention to the road.

“Sure thing, Claire.” He finished with my name—not ‘Sassenach’. It made me hitch my breath. The rest of the way home he stared out the window not looking at me- leaving my heart in my stomach.

I turned onto his street pulling up in front of his building. “I will drop you off and go park my car…. I will come back up and bring your bag with me in a few minutes.”

Jamie opened his door slowly as he undid his seatbelt. “Fine.” He griped as I heard the car door shut behind him.

The car parked and duffle bag in hand, I turned the doorknob and entered Jamie’s apartment to find the living room empty.

I left the bag on the couch and made my way to his bedroom to hear the soft flush of the toilet as he came into the bedroom.

“I left your bag on the couch… I will do your laundry tomorrow.”

Jamie stood in the doorframe, shirtless and in his boxers, his arms crossed as he stared at me, his eyes dark with emotion and intention. His jaw structured in hard lines and a serious look on his face that I could not register.

“Jamie…What is it?” I asked as I slipped my Converse off and shimmied out of my jeans.

He didn’t respond. Instead he walked over to me, slowly, taking my face between his hands and kissed me senseless.

When he was finished he rested his forehead on mine and I could feel the tension radiating from him. He pulled me to him then, my head resting on his chest. “What is it?” I asked, breathless and taking in his pungent musky scent.

He didn’t answer, but held me for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, he shifted his weight and I looked up at him- his eyes covered with a small film of tears, just like they had been the night before.

But before I could ask, he looked down at me, his eyes intent and pleading. “Sassenach… I need ye.”

I kissed his bare chest reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and sliding it over my head. My stomach was in my throat- I could tell he was hiding something from me, was hurting over me leaving for Paris in a few week- but there was something we both needed from each other tonight.

I took his hand, guiding him to the bed. I saw the screen of his phone on the nightstand illuminate with “John Grey” on the caller ID. He ignored it, as did I as pulled him down on top of me, shielding me from whatever was about to come crashing down on us.

_Tomorrow. I thought to myself. Tomorrow we will get this all figured out._


	17. Return to Edinburgh II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you’re the Sassenach he’s been talking about.” I watched as his shoulders rolled and the uneasiness dissipated from his body. 
> 
> “Yes,” I reached into my pocket for my set of keys, “I am. He’s not here right now, but I picked up some food and there’s beer in the fridge. I think we need to talk.” 
> 
> “I think we do.” John Grey agreed. 
> 
> I opened the door and the knot in my stomach grew tenfold. Who was this man and what did my Jamie have to do with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the return of Closing Time.

I could feel his gaze on me before I opened my eyes. 

“You’re thinking.” I whispered as Jamie placed his hand on my stomach. “I can hear you from over here.” 

While I had slept comfortably in his arms the entire night, he had shifted to the other side of the bed at some point in the morning. The empty space felt like an emotional ocean between us. 

“I needta know, Sassenach,” Jamie whispered back to me as he ran a finger down my cheekbone. “Were ye going to tell me?” 

Opening my eyes, I found him gazing down at me, eyes with a pleading look in them. His cheeks were slightly flushed and I could tell he had been awake for some time by the bags under his eyes- I absently wondered if he had slept at all last night. 

I took a breath and covered the hand that was cupping my face with my own. “Yes… I was.” 

I paused for a second scanning his gaze to look for a sign of him actually believing me. His other hand moved to my hip and pulled me closer towards him, giving me the answer he knew I was searching for.

“I applied in January and then after a long work shift and study session I wandered into your bar- and it’s been a high speed car chase since.” I took a breath and scanned his face. “It’s been so quick-I… I found out the morning of your accident. I didn’t really know when or how to tell you. We were standing on a frozen lake and I was practically waiting for it to crack. I didn’t want to be the reason it did fall apart on us when we were just beginning.”

“But…” He whispered pulling my even closer so our faces were inches apart. “You are going to go.” 

Confused, I pulled my head back from his and searched his face. “You seemed rather irritated about it last night?” 

“I did and I apologize for how I reacted… It was just news to me.” He cupped my face in his hands. “But I willna be the reason ye dinna chase yer dreams. It’s only a month ye say?” 

“Yes.” 

“Weel then, a month. There is facetime and textin’…” He kissed the top of my nose softly. “And I am most certain that I can probably take a weekend trip to come romance ye in Paris?” 

“Jamie…” 

“No.” His voice was firm and covered in a fierce tone, as if he had made my mind up for me. “Ye’re going, Sassenach. There is no question about it. I was just in shock, but I will be yer biggest cheerleader…” He kissed me then, soft and sweet. _“Always.”_

___________________

The next week flew by. Jamie, still recovering, worked remotely from home while I returned to my almost normal schedule at the hospital.

I had slowly started to merge my belongings into corners of Jamie’s apartment. A toothbrush by the sink, my lavender shampoo and conditioner in his shower, my favorite travel coffee mug in his shelf, my dirty laundry mixed with his. 

I had stolen his extra house key from the front door welcome mat and made a copy, replacing it with a shiny new one. 

Our lives were merging and a rhythm was being set into what we were. 

The early mornings were the only time I had me time. Time to think clearly, to keep myself grounded in this new found life I had found myself in. I had been finding it hard to accept my current reality: medical school, an apprenticeship program, finals coming up, and a serious boyfriend. But by the soft snores coming from the large Scottish figure beside me, I was constantly reminded that it was in fact my life.

I kissed Jamie’s forehead, leaving him sleeping in the dark. I turned the bathroom light off, flipped over the laundry, poured my coffee and left his apartment. As much as we were beginning what the start of our lives could be- I still could feel the small distance of a secret he was keeping from me. He had been screening and avoiding all the phone calls and texts from a gent named John Grey. Sooner or later I would be blunt enough to ask, but part of me was also waiting for Jamie to tell me about it. While I knew bone deep he loved me- he also had to trust me. If he didn’t, a piece of me feared what it could do to us. 

Time, Beauchamp, give him time. 

As I entered the hospital just past four am, I heard a familiar voice call from behind me.

“LJ, wait up!” Joe ran up to my side and engulfed me in his arms. “How are you? It’s been too long.” 

“Joe!” I beamed in excitement, realizing just how much I had missed my dearest friend over the past two weeks. 

“Being on separate rotations is not fun. I miss shit talking with you.” 

“I know…. And I’ve been spending all my free time making sure my Scot is healing.” 

We started walking to the employee lounge together. 

“How is he, by the way? Things still hot and heavy between the two of you?” 

I felt the temperature rise in my cheeks. “Uh…. Seeing as I am practically living at his place right now, I think so.” 

“I figured as much. You’re wrapped around that man’s finger and have been since you walked into his bar.” 

I stopped walking for a second and gave Joe a glaring look. He turned and laughed at me, rolling his yes. “Anyone with eyes can tell LJ.” 

“He’s a good guy Joe… Better for me than you’ll ever know. Better than I probably deserve….”

Joe stopped in front of the lounge door. “I can hear the but coming at the end of that sentence, Lady Jane. And don’t. You’re just going to get in that head of yours… You deserve this and you deserve him.” 

I sighed, rolling my eyes in defeat. He was right- I knew deep down Jamie might be hiding something. I also knew that whatever he was hiding from me, he would eventually tell me.

Secrets, but no room for lies. His words echoed in my ear as I once again tried to swallow the dry lump in my throat.

“You’re right. Let’s get changed before we round?” 

“There ya go.” Joe smiled opening the lounge door.

___________________

Finishing my last dictation for the day, I signed out of the computer and grabbed my bag.

I reached into the side pocket, sending Jamie a quick text. 

_Heading home, do you want to cook or have me pick something up on my way?_

The three bubbles popped up almost immediately. 

_Sorry, Sassenach. Had to head to the bar for an inventory issue with Murtagh. Won’t be there for another two hours. Get something and feed yourself, and save me a plate._

Rather bummed I’d be left to fend for myself for the night, I dialed my favorite Thai place and ordered our usual specials. 

I walked the few blocks to the restaurant and picked up our food, finishing the ten-minute walk to Jamie’s flat. 

As I rounded the corner I saw a man standing by the front door, knocking loudly. 

“Jamie… It’s John,” The man said in a thick English accent. “We need to talk.” 

“John Grey?” I asked as I walked to through the entry way..

“Yes, and you are?” He said rather curt to me. 

“Claire, Claire Beauchamp.” I said sternly in my most professional voice. John curtly smiled at me and his cheeks flushed, I knew he could see right through me. “Jamie’s…Er… Jamie’s…. I’m not sure what I am.” 

“So you’re the Sassenach he’s been talking about.” I watched as his shoulders rolled and the uneasiness dissipated from his body. 

“Yes,” I reached into my pocket for my set of keys, “I am. He’s not here right now, but I picked up some food and there’s beer in the fridge. I think we need to talk.” 

“I think we do.” John Grey agreed. 

I opened the door and the knot in my stomach grew tenfold. Who was this man and what did my Jamie have to do with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank YOU for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy the return of this story, we have about 5-6 chapters left! I hope you all enjoy the last little bit.

Jamie’s apartment had quickly felt like home to me- but as I walked into the kitchen and heard the echoing of John’s steps behind me, it was me who felt like an intruder.

“Care for some whisky?” I asked placing the take out onto the counter and reached for the amber liquid keeping my tone clipped. I could feel the nerves easing from my own body.

“That would be great,” the Englishman said taking a seat at the table. “So,” His voice cracked on the word furthering the tension between us, “How _much _has Jamie told you?”__

__I may not have known much about this John Grey but I had to give it to him, at least he was direct._ _

__“Honestly, John,” I admitted and reached for glasses, “I am not quite sure what you are assuming Jamie _might_ have told me…”_ _

__I took a seat across from him and raised my glass, giving him a slight nod. He motioned a cheers back and took a small swig of the alcohol._ _

__“Listen….” John started and I could hear the faint edge in his voice. “It is not quite my issue to discuss, if Jamie hasn’t said anything to you yet… Maybe we should wait till he is here.”_ _

__“I think,” I gave my own firm edge to my voice and straightened my shoulders, “That since you are already here and we have some decent whisky at hand, you better start talking because I am not a patient woman, nor am I delicate. I do not like being handled like a commodity… So John Grey, it’s your turn to start talking.”_ _

____

_______________

“And that’s where we are.” John finished his third glass of whisky and set it on the table. “It’s late, and my fiancé will be waiting on me. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to catch him this evening, but I am sure we will be in touch.”

I felt the lump in my throat grow and found it hard to find the words to give him any sort of farewell.

“Absolutely.” I somehow managed to get out. “Thank you, for telling me.”

I stood and followed him to the door. “I wish we had met under different circumstances, Claire. Jamie speaks nothing but the highest of praises towards you.”

“He is a very special man…” I spoke slowly as I opened the door, “I hope we get to meet under more social circumstances one day.”

“Me as well, Claire. It’s been a pleasure.”

John strode away and I closed the door behind him. Leaning my back against the wall I sank down to my knees cradling my face in my hands.

_“Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me?”_ I whispered to myself- wondering if Jamie was planning on telling me, at all.

_______________

I was in a half conscious slumber on the couch, when I heard the key turn in the deadbolt.

“Yer still awake?” Jamie asked quietly when he walked in, dropping a box in the entryway.

“I was waiting for you,” I answered, sitting upright. “How did the inventory go?”

“Och.” He took his jacket off and walked across the room and sat down next to me. “It was fine, we’re missing a few things here and there and I needta find a new distributor for beer… But it went just fine.”

I rested my head on his chest and felt his demeanor relax into my touch. “How was your day, Sassenach?” I counted his heartbeat as he relaxed and found it to be slightly elevated, my heart tore into pieces. I loved this man and wanted to help him, but he wasn’t sharing something with me and it I’m not sure how I was supposed to feel about it.

Confusion, James Fraser, you’re a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron smothered in contradictions and what are you doing to me- to us.

“Nothing special. Some class and did a few dictations. More of the usual…How are you feeling?”

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, “Much better now that I am wi’ ye. I am healing just fine, I think I am still tired- this one errand took all my energy.”

“You are definitely still healing. It will take a few more weeks before you’re back to where you were before the accident… But you’re coming along just dandy.”

“Mhmmmm.” I looked up towards his face scanning it, seeing if he was mustering anything in that mind of his, wondering if I should fess up to John coming to see me. His eyes squinted at me for just a moment- he knew I was holding back, but chose to ignore whatever it was he saw on my glass face.

“I think I could just hold ye forever like this, Sassenach. When it’s just the two of us, there’s no’ a problem in the world.”

I kissed the base of his jaw. “You do know, you can tell me anything, right?”

“Aye.” His back went rigid for just a moment. “I ken, Claire. We have room for secrets, but no’ for lies.”

“Right.”

“But there are some things, Claire, that we can only tell each other in time.” His voice was formal and he annunciated every syllable of the words as if he was saying some sort of blood vow between us.

I nodded into his chest, burrowing myself back into his chest. “Yes.” I agreed, the ball in my stomach growing as the butterflies started rise to the surface.

“Like, Paris, aye? Ye were goin’ to tell me but then the accident- and it did come out- I ken we still have a lot to learn about each other….”

“You just don’t want to share too much- so it doesn’t break us apart, right?”

He let out a laugh and kissed the side of my head. “Exactly…. There are things I needta tell ye, I ken I do- and probably the same of you as well, but in due time, Sassenach. In due time.” 

John’s words echoed in my mind as I stood giving him my hand, “Let’s go to bed.”

_______________

“This has been the longest lecture, ever.” I grumbled as I whispered into my best friend’s ear. Joe let out a small laugh and finished typing the notes about the slide the professor had projected onto the screen.

“Yes, it has.” He turned to look at me. “How is Jamie?”

Our voices were quiet so we wouldn’t cause a scene.

“He’s fine… Healing. He’s gotten most of his independence back and is almost ready to get back to work fulltime at the bar, but he still can’t quite lift as much as he’d like.”

“Let me guess, LJ… You won’t let him.”

I shook my head and turned back to the screen, typing the next few words onto my own computer. “Of course I won’t. The scar tissue needs time to heal…”

“I can hear a _but_ coming from that sentence.”

“There is,” I whispered finishing typing the words. “There’s something massive he isn’t telling me…”

“And that’s all we have time for today,” Dr. Brandt finished. “See you all next Tuesday.”

We both closed our computers and walked out of the lecture hall.

“So, you were saying, he isn’t telling you something?”

“Yes, but he wants to, I know he does- but there’s something….” I stopped talking as John Grey came into my line of sight.

“Claire,” He spoke very direct, “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank YOU for for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed!


End file.
